Schizophrenia.com

Honest psychotic visions

#1

My first psychosis i ended up across the country.

It began just before halloween and really got hairy on halloween night, i spent that early morning sitting up with the demon freaking me out and talking to me in my head.

But i ended up across country, after seeing a being made of light in a tree, she had no face but only white light where features should be and i heard “sssshhhhhh” while staring at her, i ended up at a homeless shelter for the night.

So during the night i woke up and a shadow person was directly in front of me, after looking at it for a moment i passed out, or was put to sleep.

The next morning i awoke, it must have been sunday because preaching was on television, they had turned it on.

I was in my bunk and began to hear the most horrible thing, a being of pure hate was on television lying to people all around the world, he hideously would say something and then almost gasp for breath in a very horrible way. It wasn’t that he was asthmatic but was just evil.

I don’t know how to describe it but can most certainly say it was the most honest portrayal of a preacher i had ever seen, what i saw was just an awful man lying and yearning for more power and wealth, way more than he needed.

I think that is how best to describe his “gasping for breath”, it was a very awful lying and yearning and desperately seeking more power and wealth, and in the sound he was making was hate, pure hate, just the most lovelessness you can ever possess.

Of course i didn’t know what was happening at the time but after much reading i do now, well more anyway, and that was what we could call an honest psychotic vision/hallucination, because this guy was very evil and thats what i saw in this vision/hallucination, otherwise i would have just heard a sweet talking well dressed man who was successful, i wouldn’t have seen the truth.

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#2

A little after that i saw my dad in some lockers chained up and sweaty, he was in agony, before that i didn’t really understand how much pain he was in. He was never the one to talk about it, i wish he had.

Other more true things that occured in my mind was this, someone, or i believe it was someone, mentioned that there were beings living in the trinkets on my mom’s shelf, i didn’t believe it at the time and also had no idea what to think but i did find out that those objects had some very strong memories tied to them and i know now that when some people look at them the memories of this person are very strong in them. So, i don’t think that someone was actually in there, but in a way that person was in there the whole time.

And i saw my brother putting a part of me in a pipe he was smoking from, when i saw this i thought that he was going to control me with it in some wierd way, had i stayed i really would have been able to see this become a reality. Because i came back some time later and guess what, in a way i really was tied to that dam pipe and was controlled because of it, alot of myself and my money did get put into that pipe, and i wasn’t the only one. I don’t think an actual piece of me was literally put in there or anything but in a way yes this became very very true.

Not to say everything had meaning in it or was true in anyway.

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