Schizophrenia.com

Honest Jack and Dishonest Sam

Two identical twins came to the US from a repressive country. They used to both be liars until Jack (they both changed their names) stole something and someone else who was falsely accused got his hand cut off for the crime. So Jack swore to be honest for the rest of his days. They both became garbagemen in America and here’s how their lives go at 50.
Sam: Hey Jack I’ve got a date tonight. My dating profile is really getting hits.
Jack: Yeah well you have a 20 year old photo of yourself and say you make a ton more money than you do, lied about your age, and your intentions. Of course you did.
Sam: Yeah and you were honest and no one has called. That’s why your lonely tonight.
Jack: And by the way Sam I’m amazed that even though taxes were lowered I’m paying more.
Sam: Well I’m not.
Jack: Sam you’re such a liar.
Sam: And Jack your such a loser. Did you know some women don’t care if you lie to them and the government expects some of us to cheat. That’s what you do-gooders make up for.
Honestly get over it. It was years ago.
(Sam left to go on his date and Jack stared at the ceiling. He then went on the computer and tried to track down the man who lost his hand but couldn’t because the country blocked Internet access. Suddenly the door was broken into and a shadow appeared with one hand missing on the body. Jack screamed and then grabbed a weapon.)
Handless Man: Abdul I know it’s you where are you.
Jack: In the kitchen.
Handless Man: Are you armed.
Jack: Yes.
Handless Man: If you are an honest man then put the weapon down.
(Jack shoots him.)
Handless Man: I thought you were an honest man.
Jack: Once I was a dishonest man but I changed. That man was me too. So we were the same person. So I defended myself.
(The Handless Man dies. Jack became dishonest again part of the time.)