Here’s my imaginary honest dating profile.
Schizophrenic, looking for Atheist who doesn’t want kids. Must be younger. Must be able to tolerate feeling unloved, despite the opposite being true. Must be willing to accept conversations have a 20 minute limit. Must be able to stand on her own two feet, as I have enough problems.
here’s mine:
Schizophrenic, looking for any straight woman.
quite ironic. I spend a lot of time on OKcupid, so you’d think I’d be more specific than that… 
Schizophrenic who is looking for nymphomaniac who doesn’t mind being with an asexual because that would be hilarious. Can be any age 18-35. Must be willing to accept that I don’t have a job right now but when I do I’ll by you things. Must be willing to understand sometimes I talk to you for hours and sometime not for days. Also must not hate men or have an attitude problem most of the time.
Anyway that is mine
Where are the 
that you usually do followed by some kind of sexual innuendo.
moderators told me to stop. so I did. can’t really argue with mods, now can you.
Here’s mine
Sz looking for a dumb and deaf girl and mute
Helen Keller would be a delight but isent she dead ?
Sheesh! Don’t egg him on! 
That’s a good lad! 
“Paranoid Schizophrenic. Looking for any girl over 18 who has a pulse”.
Looking for woman who like to spend a lot of time at home watching movies, Must supply pop corn!!!
Schizoaffective, looking for someone who believes in God. Must put up with my mood swings. Has to have a sense of humor. No kids. Has to understand that I can be clingy sometimes and other times, I have to be alone.
This could have been mine:
“Doofy guy looking for doofy girl to start doofy family.”
Mission accomplished!
I never bring up family on my profile. people misinterpret that sometimes. 
people misinterpret a lot of things that I say on my OKcupid profile. so I just talk about myself.
the other option would be to not put any detail on my OKcupid profile. but then people would think that I’m a robot or not looking for a date. 
sometimes, making an OKcupid profile is not as easy as people would expect. at least for a man…
She definitely would’ve been because she’d have money too, heh.
Bipolar girl with a preschool kid. Both adorable. And she is broke on top. Looking for a man that could be there for her and yet be able to let her have her space when she goes nuts. American citizenship is an advantage.
Okay I’m just down with the fact that I’m ending up single. 
Think you are being to hard on yourself, you have the looks, and from what I seen in your posts, very creative and a good sense of humor. Just saying…
Person with no redeeming qualities looking for Sunday school teacher who looks like a Playboy bunny.
Looking for someone who would reply back to my “hi” message
those types of people are rare to find
Optimistic Bee who enjoys hugs and altruism, seeks female equivalent aged 20-40, preferably either has or wants kids. Must smile often and be capable of asking for what she wants. Offering 6x PS or 1x SoJ
Omg, I love this. Funny though, on another thread I advised someone not to make their diagnosis the headliner. When I went on a dating site where I met my husband, I had the nerve to list “happy childhood required” as something I was looking for. But it was for that reason: I have enough to deal with.