Haven’t been here in a while but I feel like I need support tonight. I had a bad episode tonight triggered by my mom. She has always been my main support but also my biggest trigger. I don’t know what to do. Well tonight I was home with my younger cousin and my mom called but when I answered I was laughing so hard i couldn’t talk. my mom couldn’t understand because the phone was also breaking up so she hung up then called back and I was laughing still so she hung up again. Once I got it together I called her she didn’t answer so I texted her. She told me not to talk to her till tomorrow. We were supposed to pick up my God son (who i love more than life and miss sooo much) but she told me oh well. Thats when The voices started up. I was pissed she wouldn’t tell me why she was mad at me and the voices started to get louder and more persistent.i called my brothers to ask them to see why she was mad and she said that if i wanted to play then play and she would do what she wanted. So i started to cry because I was confused and the voices said it was because she doesn’t want to see me happy and other things so I took a lorazepam to try to calm myself… it didn’t help. My mom calls but im so pissed and upset my cousin answers and says I’m crying. My mom tells her that’s too bad that she’s not going to come running now that I’m having an episode. That I should just suck it up and tell them to shut the f*** up and get over it. i hear her say this so the voices got worse and I felt myself spiralling so I take another lorazepam.I didn’t want to talk to myself I front of my cousin so I went outside to do some grounding and to talk to the voices. I felt a little better so I went back in the house. This is just one of many occasions where she gets mad at me for having an episode. I’m just tired of feeling like this but she is the only person I have that helps me with things (as I shopping, appointments,ect.) outside my house. I was so close to hurting myself tonight if my cousin wasn’t here. I feel stuck
How old are u and where r u from…!!!
Sorry that this has happened to you, what medication are you on?
I take Abilify, Lamotrigine, latuda,and lorazepam
I’m 22 and I live in Wisconsin
My family behaves similar to how your mom does. I’m often told to “get over it” “There’s nothing there don’t be stupid” and some other stuff. I know it’s really hard to deal with. So you aren’t alone in this.
Have you been able to talk to your mom since? Has she calmed down at all?
Im sorry you go through this too…I haven’t talked to her yet but I’m not sure I want to. I don’t know if I want to hear what she has to say I’m tired of her putting me down making me feel worse than I already do
It’s ok (hugs). Just give yourself some time. Wait for her to approach you. I wish people weren’t so insensitive. Do you have anyone else around you that could help give you some support?
Thank you. Yeah, my cousin missed school to stay with me today.
have patients with yourself and try to get to your pdoc / a support group near bye it should help.
No offense but your mom sounds like a terrible shitty awful person. Too bad you are dependent on her, I would disown her and tell her she’s dead to me. Who the hell treats their kids like that. So so sad. I’m sorry your mum doesn’t seem to care at all about your mental health/ episodes.
I wish I was your mum. I’d give you hugs and popsicles and help you calm down and then we could go see your god son.
Wow! This really upset me! Mothers are supposed to be really nice and loving and caring. They are NEVER supposed to say suck it up and get over it. ESPECIALLY for something you can’t help. How infuriating!!!
Thank you for your kind words…I disowned my dad for this same reason. I feel trapped because I have no one else to help me but her. You would think I would be used to her upsetting me but I forgive her ever time thinking she’s my mom she doesn’t mean it but it hurts ever time and it doesn’t help that the voices say I’m a burden and she is sick of me. She just reinforces what they say.
You need to find away not to be dependent on your mom. she seems like a bad influence. You need a support person(s), not negative crap. If you was my daughter ( even though I only got son’s) I’d try to find away to support you thru the voices.Or even help you get to a peer support group that might help in ways I could not.
i have been hurt by both my parents and my in laws. my parents have claimed that their illnesses are more important than mine but they dont take medication. my mom has also said that the abuse i suffered at the hands of a family friend never happened but i had always suspected my mom had a relationship with this family friend. my dad is a drunk and drug addict so is my brother who was abusive also towards me.
my in laws…well you guys here about that too often.
but its the same with both sides they just tell me to ignore them and tell the voices to go away but its never that easy my parents tried to have me pick between them and my partner and i chose my partner so they blocked me on facebook.
the best i can tell you is let yourself and your mom calm down and leave each other alone for a few days.
I know how this goes as well. I personally have physical and emotional scares from my childhood.
That’s what I’m doing I’m giving us both time to calm down but im going to distance myself. next time i go to therapy im going to talk about ways to be more independent and see if they’re are any resources I can us to help
Thank you everyone for the replys and support. It is greatly appreciated and was needed.
Just remember dont let things said out of anger or ignorance get to you. I need to learn this too