Ok guys, here goes… I’m 30, diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 27, and actually I can view my life before the diagnose and after as a pretty rough ride. I mean the professional life of having a job and starting a Career, also trying to plan a future starting at age 21… There’s more too it than I can write here and share with you, but I would very much like too, and I would be happy to make some friends here.
The story of my illness started at age 24 with a massive psychotic attack that nearly killed me… it’s pretty scary (for me).
I’m a Graphic Designer, have a job in the field as a pre press Editor and executive. I can’t Design anymore since my first being committed. it’s bad news, but life’s OK…
Since childhood I was very creative in the field of Art, with particular interest in Pencil-Drawing. I basically tried to master the field as much as I could before I fell in love for the first time (age 17) and afterwards serve my country for Mandatory duties for 3 years. So, like I said, professional life started at age 21. The thing is, and my Psychiatrist told me that, I had a Bipolar disorder that wasn’t diagnosed and treated. I wasn’t aware of any manic episodes during childhood, coming of age or during Military Service.
Just for the sake of opening my Heart freely, I feel like someone who was handed bad cards from God, Went on a Crusade to conquer the World, and barely survived a crash…
My plans were getting accepted the Art Academy, and I weren’t that a spontaneous in nature. Everything had to be planned ahead, so I figured I cant work in the job that required talking like waiter-sing etc. I enlisted to a basic graphic design Course, and Crafted a very Detailed and impressing Portfolio, (I was working days and nights to complete it), and by the end of the first year as a graphic designer I was pretty much shooting at all directions, I got my driving’s license, my high school graduation certificate and Academy-level English classification all passed. My bipolar disorder was started to project strongly: between jobs I felt a huge depression while unemployed, and when I did work I was Manic and being in euphoria (that caused me also to speak fluently with no stutter)… By the end of the third year working, studying and finally preparing an Art portfolio for the Academies, I went to the Tests, and was rejected. I felt like ‘professional people with high reputation just told me I’m in the wrong Business’ , and I better act fast to find a job with sufficient salary to build a home and raise a family. I made the biggest mistake of my life - Psycho-metrics Course. I quit my job too.
During the first few weeks of the course I started analyzing my visual surroundings (as a graphic designer) and I lost track of reality. One night I had a thought-race that ended with me loosing sense of pain in my body, I literally felt the bones underneath my fingers and toes. Then something scary happened to me, and I was committed for a month. age 24. I took a Rorschach test in the Hospital and was diagnosed with no schizophrenia and was told to take medication for a year and then I would be healed. after 3 years I stopped taking medication and my health deteriorated, I lost my job again, was committed again for 3 months, and diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. It took me a hole year afterwards to end psychosis behavior completely. only then at age 28 I got a job again.
I can’t learn anymore, can’t study and can’t develop myself more than what I accomplished before I was diagnosed. I tried. Can’t do it. but the bright side is you cant tell on me I have the illness.
OK I wrote allot, I better get some sleep, Bye fellas talk to you soon. Peace. Comments are welcome of course.