HHow many have problems with former drinking buddies?

An old friend keeps coming to my apartment. He’s pretty strung out on drugs and booze. I loaned him ten dollars about a month ago, and he hasn’t repaid it yet. He wanted me to loan him more money so he could drink. I said no this time. I can empathize with the guy, but I can’t be financing his bad habits. Has anyone else had problems with former drinking buddies?

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I had buddies asking me money for weed and cocaine. I gave them 10$ a few times because I smoked weed with them. But cocaine was a no for me as weed already made me psychotic and violent. I left all these friends behind.

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I lost all my drinking buddies but it’s difficult for me to understand sometimes because their were a few variables.

I got two dwi’s in the mid naughts so had to give up drinking. There’s a ton of issues there bc I didn’t have the will power to socialize while sticking to club soda.

Around the same time I started becoming frugal and being taken by the stock market I had seats to, and might have turned down ‘play dates’ or restaurant meals( breaking bread w friends).

The good news is I’m getting better but ultimately with my verbal skills I don’t understand why my former friends won’t even ‘see what I’ve become”.

Oh yeah I used my ballroom dance lessons ‘for evil’ too with the alpha man in my group; with his girlfriend.

But even there I was already worried someone was plotting nefarious type stuff for me. I jumped from one distraction to a different one.

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When I quit drugs at 20 years old, I ended all my friendships so I wouldn’t be tempted. I made a clean break and started over

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never had any old drinking buddies ask me for money no, but the fact is i haven’t talked to them in 10 years. and i moved so no chance to run into them, i don’t meet new drinking buddies either.

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I quit illicit drugs just after I turned 21. I smoked some pot and had a psychotic break that taught me a lesson at the time about drugs. Maybe the psychotic break was the beginning of my SzA. At the time I believed someone put some PCP in the pot. That was the last time I did drugs. I had a drinking problem until 2016 when I finally admitted it and went to AA. I don’t have any contact with old drug/drinking buddies anymore. I’m 61 now.

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No. I moved three cities away and made no attempt to keep in contact with any of them. A lot of my partying was with strangers anyways so I didn’t owe them anything and they don’t owe me anything.

My drug use went in stages when it came to people. I started off smoking crack usually by myself for the first year but knew a few people in the city were I went to get my drugs.

Then I moved into a studio and made friends with a neighbor and a few other people and we all smoked crack or did coke and drank together for 8 months.

Then I moved away and got into mental health housing and hit it off with a guy who was renting a room in the house and shortly afterwards made friends with three guys who became my connections to get crack for me. That was the last stage of my using, and I got clean in 1990.

Coincidentally, I am now living near the apartments my connection lived with his mother in the eighties, I pass it a few times a week. I was there several times in the late eighties. I’m also not too far from other places related to my drug use. It’s a little weird passing these places, it seems I was there a lifetime ago.

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I don’t have anyone asking for money or trying to make me drink or do drugs thankfully.

I think you have to stop being around them even though you may love them you have to say no.

I write emails a couple times a year with a girl who was (is?) my best friend and we did drugs together sometimes and used to binge drink together.

She has a career and family now.

It would be cool if we were still best friends but we don’t really feel close anymore I think.

I could not have a partner or friend who did drugs.

If they got drunk I stay sober.

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I am so glad I kept my friends from the party times. They don’t have a problem with me not taking drugs, I don’t have a problem with them doing so. It makes me so sad to read people ending friendships over this. Us sz tend to have difficulties with sociality, actively ending the friendships we do have seems a tragedy to me.

That was my career between 11-17 - financing my ‘friends’ drug habits.

Safe to say I have some serious trust issues as an adult since I realised these people were royally taking advantage of my mis-conception that we were friends.

I have to maintain a high level of independence these days to avoid falling into the same trap.

The only people I really trust are my family.

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I don’t know if this is related, but I harbor some strong suspicions of people who look horrible and have the most tragic lives full of major problems, like homelessness. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how much love and money to give them.

Its difficult, sometimes you got to change the soil as well you are living in.

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I defos lost a lot of acquaintances when I stopped partying and spending ridiculous amounts of money.

It was weird, the girl I was rooming with just up and moved out one day with no notice or anything.

It kinda stung a little, but at the same time I had the whole place to myself, which was pretty rad.

This reminds me of my friend Jon. He wasn’t a drinker but a pot and spice addict and he once wouldn’t let me out of his apartment until I gave him ten bucks for another pack of spice. I eventually just gave him the money, he seemed like he was going to get violent. He also sold my Ray Ban sun glasses and persuaded me to give him $400 for rent when he had the money for it but wanted to get high. Not worth it being his friend.

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