Here's a negative post for all your positive ones

it just really hit me today that I have nobody.
i have one friend. one. and she is moving away from me on the 28th. to Michigan. you all know I live in sodak.
the one person I love only wants me half the time but I don’t know what to do without him. he hurts me with words and has hurt me physically in the past… I have no future, no degree or any substitute of. I barely even shower. I’m going to see someone on Thursday but I feel like it’s just gonna be a huge waste of time and money; as it has been my whole ■■■■■■■ life.
I constantly think of suicide but I have no desire to kill myself, which in itself just drains me daily. I have no will power to end my life but there’s nothing I want more.

I said degree, I meant diploma.

Christy-I know the feeling. Wishing you could just die in your sleep. You have us! And you have the doctors appointment upcoming! That’ll help you I promise! As long as you’re honest! Never give up. You’re smart, cool, attractive, you’re 17 fit friggs sake! No one has a guaranteed future at 17 really, i sure as hell wasn’t thinking about the future at 17. I’m 26 and I’m just “getting it”. I have a feeling you’re ahead of my curve. But ya gotta think positive! You have a lot to live for girl. Feel better, get some sleep, watch some tv, think about your little cousin. That’s all I got.

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not much I can say that will help how you feel. Just know you have more than one friend. Even though we are all just online - we care about you.

I know you will feel better, just give it time. :hugging:

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Recognize your true beauty is greater than abusive fools. And be patient with yourself. Don’t accept abuse from anyone

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Be 100% honest with the doctors. That’s the first step.

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I getting this from the age post that your 17. You have many years ahead of you. It seems dark now but you just need to keep trying. I’m unaware of your degree situation but you just have to finish school or if you are not currently in school you can get a GED. We all feel down at different points in our lives but what matters is to keep trying.

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I have no motivation or will to get it. I simply don’t care about education… that’s not true, but a signed piece of paper will never determine my intelligence. it’s absolute ■■■■■■■■ I ‘need’ it to survive.
i depend too much on people, I truly believe I’ll never be capable of being on my own, in a house with a job. the fact that I am only 17 and physically and mentally unable to even go out and hangout with a friend a few hours without being completely drained right after. I can’t do it.

The only friend I keep in contact with is moving away overseas I’m just glad I have my family my situation was really bad but my condition has improved with time it’s taken awhile you still have time you’re only 17 don’t push yourself just kick back and relax let time heal maybe do some meditation even if you only close your eyes it’s helped me dream of a future.

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You’re young. You must have some potential. When I was 19 and I first got diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia I felt pretty hopeless. For the first two and a half years I had nothing. I had no friends, no girlfriend, no money, no car, no schooling, no independence, and barely any sanity.

I lived in a group home and I spent months and months just sitting alone in the backyard fighting to keep my sanity. I suffered, went through hell, etc. I showed no improvement for a year. I thought of suicide and giving up. I was scared and all I had was my family but they had their own lives which they couldn’t drop just for me.

Well, I’m 55 now. I’m looking back at having worked almost steadily since 1983. I just need four classes for my college degree. I
I’ve done all kinds of fun things. I’ve traveled, been to a million restaurants. I’ve been to several concerts, had friends, etc. But obviously if I had given up I would not have done any of those things.

I’ve felt hopeless before, I have low self esteem, and no confidence. I don’t care. I am still going to do what I want. Tonight I had dinner at my sisters house. Tomorrow is a barbecue at work. You just have to keep going despite the bad stuff because you have as a good a chance as anybody to get better. I’m not saying you should be happy all the time. Feeling depressed is fine sometimes.

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that makes me so happy for you, reading that…
but I just have one issue and it’s I don’t want to get better. I have no hope. no faith. no motivation. no goals. I have nothing. i seek nothing. I give up on trying to make anything work because it never does and I just get hurt more and feel more like a failure
I’m sick of laying in bed all day every day, but it’s a chore for me to get up and do something. I dread having to hangout with my one friend. and I love her to death. but just the fact that I’m doing something, drains me. that shouldn’t happen at 17! i should be partying and doing stupid teenager things and care about school and my grades and brush my teeth and shower regularly and wash my clothes but I do none of that!
I’m stuck!! I don’t want to kill myself but I sure as ■■■■ don’t want to continue living either!

At least you’re thinking about your future. Many seventeen year olds don’t think about that until it’s too late. That’s what I did. It seems to me that you are caught in a trap of low self esteem. Tell yourself you deserve better. Remember that there are people who care about you. The people on this forum are concerned about you. Tell yourself you can succeed. You can get over this.

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You’ve got to find the *I don’t give a f**ck attitude within yourself. Everyone has it about something. Harness it and use it as a shield until you feel better. It comes in handy.

When I was your age, well two yrs younger, my Lupus was real bad and my hair had started falling out in droves. I quit school that year because I was at a pep rally (do they still have those) and kids on the bleacher above me were making fun of me about my hair. I had no one but my mom and brother to turn to and I was for some rason mad at them because they didn’t have to deal with my ■■■■.

I was already seeing spirits and shadow people and had the voices by then. So my life seemed pretty f’ed up. I gave up - didn’t eat for over a month, drank only water. went from 95 to 76# I remember my mom held me in her lap crying the day she admitted me into the pysch ward. She sayed I weighed nothing.

It was hell, but it was the best thing for me - That’s when I got my attitude - life will always give you ■■■■ and you just got to say f**k it! It is what it is, but it doesn’t own you. I had control to take my life, but I had control to fight it all as well. Just to prove them all wrong.

I am here 25rs after my doctor given death date - and this world has thrown a lot of ■■■■ my way health wise - but I still fight because their is a reason for me being if only to prove them all wrong.

You can do it too and you can overcome it all - Just pysch yourself into believing it and then you will believe and it will get better. Here’s a picture of me then (after hospital) with my wig

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Yes, you got cheated by becoming schizophrenia. And it
is especially hard to have it at your age. But look at all the good examples on this site of what people with schizophrenia are capable of. You have it hard, but there are people in worse shape than you. And they still can accomplish stuff.

There’s certainly no easy answers to your situation but it’s not hopeless. I don’t want to minimize the terrible situation you’re in but it’s not hopeless.

I posted my story to show what is possible despite having schizophrenia. Believe me, my first few years with schizophrenia were hell on earth. Nobody could predict my success. And nobody can predict how you personally will end up. You may end up doing very well, you may end up not doing very well, or somewhere in between. Despite having schizophrenia you still have choices in life. My advice is that you may not be able to make yourself better, but you can still make the choices (sometimes) to not make it worse.

"When you’re going through hell, keep going"
Winston Churchill

“Don’t quit ten minutes before the miracle happens”.
Old AA saying.

There’s no overnight cure".

77nick77.

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