Schizophrenia.com

Help! what do i do to get him to stop asking me for stuff?

I have a friend that I met in my psychosis group. He told me about his kid and was really upset about being broke and living with his disabled mother and having to borrow money from her all the time. So several months back I lent him a lot of money $375 to be exact. I felt bad for him because he’s in a situation I was in a while back waiting to get approved for disability and SSI. He was so thankful and I felt good for helping out a friend. Fastforward to the past few months and at first he wouldn’t shut up about how thankful he was and how such a good friend I was and how he is going to pay me back. But…hey he needs another loan. He also has been asking me for pills. I told him look we have the same doctor tell him about your anxiety…well he just wants me to give him a few to ‘see how they work’ and if he likes them then when he gets his script filled he’d pay me back. He also kept begging me to hook him up with oxy. I made the mistake of telling him about how lucky I was to have some from a friend that has stage 4 cancer after a dental visit. Bad move! this is a really good friend that I’ve known for years, have gone to doctor appts with him etc. and isn’t some drug peddler. After I said I have benzos like xanax he won’t quit bugging me. So I finally said talk to our Dr and tell me how it goes. Then he shifted back to the money. He texts me casually in the beginning of the day and it always turns into ‘so how about that loan’. I finally said ■■■■ off dude and he didn’t talk to me for a month. Then I saw him in the lobby while we were both waiting for an appointment and he immediately was on me about getting a cigarette and money. He started high and then said just forty dollars is all I need. He literally won’t stop! I keep saying no and he keeps begging! Then when I get very firm he says oh I thought we were friends. I’m a very giving person but I don’t feel like constantly being poked and prodded for money at the same time I know he will pay me back when he gets his back pay. Do I give in? Is there a semi pleasant way to tell him to get off my back? He is telling me its urgent but if he’s gone this long without my help what’s another four months? Give in or say no what on earth have I gotten myself into this time.

And he’s in a very fragile mental state and has lots of triggers I honestly don’t know what to do

don’t feel sorry for him, as someone said to me ’ you dig your own grave in life !".
don’t loan him any more money and get the original amount back.
some people are just bludgers.
they are the ones who cry wolf , but are never there to return the favor !
be strong , and don’t let him steal your power, or tell you any more sob stories !
take care

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Please don’t lend or give him anything more!

Jayster

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Ok. I’ll just keep saying no but how do I get him to stop bugging me. He is literally texting me right now and has been all day

I conversations with friends, I use “I” statements about how I feel. This fellow is not your friend, however. Therefore, if I were in a similar situaiton, I might use “you” statements. For example, “You have not been a good friend to me; please leave me alone.” Or, “You need help; talk to a doctor.”

I would be prepared for this fellow to become abusive or threatening if one sets limits. If one does not set limits in this kind of situation, one will be unhappy; I know.

Jayster

you just have to ignore him and press the delete button, stay strong.
take care

Say you don’t have any money and stay adamant.

I’ve just said no I can’t and have been ignoring his texts. Just gotta ignore the beeps my phone is blowing up

Thanks for the support guys I get so easily persuaded when asked long enough for something

I would have to agree with others saying not to give in. It’s so easy to get taken advantage of and it seems like he may be doing this even though he may not realize that he is doing it. I’m thinking his doctor probably isn’t giving him what he is after because it seems like he has an addictive personality and probably abuses those types of medications. So maybe try to look at it that way that if you do give them to him you are not helping him but enabling him. You have every right to say no. A friend would accept you saying no. Good luck.

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One thing you could try is to say “I’m sorry, I would have liked to be your friend, and if I were a millionaire, I’d give you anything. But, I cannot afford to support you.” If that doesn’t work, he has no conscience probably, and defer to the delete button and release yourself from guilt and stress. This person is a USER.

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Good call. Friends usually accept an answer when given to them directly

in torrey E fullers book he said that schizophrenics are sometimes like chickens in cages in a foxes yard. people find out your on disability and try and take the piss. protect yourself from theis selfish person until he pays you back just walk away and don’t have anything to do with him and don’t be afraid to call the police if he turns nasty.
oxy is heroine, I have been folled by heroine addicvts before they are the most cunning , sly devious little somethings. self protect mode.

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Yeah he acts like an addict. Especially when he says he needs something and begs me. I’ve been around junkies and they are very skeevy. I’ll keep saying no and tell him I gotta go and say goodbye and stop talkin as soon as the time comes if he keeps askin

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I would tell him you won’t lend him any more because he already owes you $375. I would just say that. It sounds like he may be addicted to pills. Make him get samples from his doctor.

Well I talked to my therapist about it and she said I should’ve told her earlier but I didn’t want to get him in trouble but he needs help. She will talk to the team and his therapist. She said he is like a broken record and I just need to say a short concise phrase every time he asks then shift the convo. Over and over.

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