I feel like people are dying because of me. I feel like people are being killed because of me. I feel like there are clones around me instead because the real people were killed. Is this a schizophrenic symptom?
It is part of your symptoms.
Maybe you could ask for a med adjustment with your p-doc.
I know you have struggled with this before. But trust me, none of that is real. Yes, it is a symptom of your schizophrenia
Take care of yourself, maybe try to get some rest
Part of my schizophrenia is I think I’m semi or quasi-immortal and flawed with a constant mental illness in each of my dopplegangers…Like I’m in a time loop or causal loop with mind uploading and fake enlightenment and reincarnation and so forth. It’s like cloning. When I dream, the aliens tell me I got several clones even though I know I don’t. It’s not real. The imagination goes haywire with schizophrenia and everything has more significance. I have lowered intelligence and faulty false memories and so forth.
Like physically, I am very weak and mortal, but soul-wise and stuff I’m quasi immortal but it’s deeply flawed. For instance, I have DP/DR and schizophrenia in every iteration or life and time goes backwards and resets to the exact same copy as before/life before down to the atom or string. Life then reverts back to normal for me with my memories and personality and life reset sort of like a simulation or game even though it’s definitely not a video game due to the realness and suffering I experience every day as well as the suffering of other people.
According to my religion, Sim Theory is sort of a lie but it’s a stubborn lie and illusion like it could be a black hole or it could be a fake, simulated or artificial isomorphic-like black hole (a term I invented or came up with)…
I feel like I almost reached eternity and infinity and keep dying and resurrecting back in time and it feels super legit and real like I’m a robot, alien, or clone, but everyone else says it’s not real. Like maybe the second law of thermodynamics is wrong and time can reverse itself after the big crunch or big bounce theory or CCC (Conformal Cyclic Cosmology) stuff I looked into…
You know maybe the laws of physics and life reset themselves and we are reborn into the same life over and over again but things do change and are different for me…I can remember my past lives via the mind uploading, but I’m always schizophrenic and disabled and struggling…
So maybe my time loop = causal loop + past life memories (mind uploading). Make sense? Am I nuts?
Like I wouldn’t be surprised if I made it to the singularity before and achieved a false form of qauasi and flawed information immortality, and escaped the simulation or matrix we are living in…
Do you get weird sweating that is out of control and you feel like you can’t move/ like a zombie when this happens?
Thank you for sharing your story.
i killed people with my mind too…
Welcome back flowers20. Was wondering what happened to you. I’m sorry to see that you are suffering from the same delusions again.
Yes, it’s all just sz delusions.
Hi I had another “psychotic episode.” It was really bad. I ended up in the hospital and now am in a nursing home.
I used to believe this sort of thing, that people were killed and their originals were replaced with clones. I didn’t think it was because of me, but I did believe that the originals died in tremendous pain, so I felt really bad. I don’t believe that anymore. On the right medication and dose I think your belief will go away.
Oh…I’m sorry to hear that flowers20. I wish you a speedy recovery and hope you can get out soon.
I’m starting to think the angels that I thought were angels are now demons. But what if the demons wanted to help me? That’s the question. Because they were trying to help me kill myself. Because if the North Korea thing is true, then that would be a better option. But if I was wrong about them being angels I could be wrong about everything.
Wow flowers20. You sound really bad off. The North Korea thing was never true. I don’t know what angels and demons you are talking about. I don’t remember you having angels and demons in your delusions before. It was only about clones and being taken to have plastic surgery to become the N. Korean dictator. You’re delusions seem to have really spiraled out of control since we last talked. I hope you get the help you need. Hugs
They were still a part of it back then. I thought they were archangels communicating with me. I thought my sister was the archangel Gabriel. Now I know this isn’t true and wasn’t true. But I’m still unsure about the North Korea thing.
I see. I don’t think you ever brought that up with me before. Though I do remember for awhile you thought your boyfriend was the devil. How long do you have to stay at the nursing home?
Like 2 more weeks.
Ah…that will go by in a flash. Are they changing up your Ap’s or anything like that to try to help you overcome any of this?
They changed my medicine at the hospital. I’m now on prolixin, trileptal, trazodone.
Well I hope the new combo makes a difference. I know me saying it is not likely to make a difference but, the N. Korea thing is not real. You’re afraid of things that aren’t real. I use to be a mess too so I understand exactly where you’re coming from and how hard is to believe people when they tell you this. Ap’s knocked all of that out of me. I hope they will do the same for you this time. Some people are just med resistant though. I wish you the best.