Help me understand

I have a negative experience with BPD. My brother in law is finally moving, but it’s taking some time to move all his crap out. But now that he’s been called out on his bull$#@&, he thinks my husband is the A#$hole. For being honest to him. He’s p oed because he thinks constant complaining is acceptable behavior. He believes you should do as he does and be like him. He’s also very judgemental and shallow. I know for a fact that he feels lonely and hates to feel abandoned. But if he was really afraid why does he push people away? Why not try and learn that his treatment of people is unhealthy? I cant understand this. It frustrates me because I wish he would change, but we’ve been told by his dad and everyone else, he’s destined to be alone and to just leave him. Why is BPD such a horrid disorder? I mean him being alone is the reason my husband let him live with us in the first place. And yet he doesn’t realize this. He’s so ungrateful. He’s also a moocher, which is what I told my husband going into this. He will only come around if he’s going to get something out of it.

Let him live alone until he learns some gratitude. Some people, when offered a finger, grab the whole hand - as they say in my country. Also you could explicitly tell him that BPD is treatable but he needs lots of therapy and goodwill.

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You’re right. He knows there’s treatment, he just doesn’t want it. I shall let him leave without saying much to him.

We try to avoid negative people. We try to tell them. Its really uncomfortable to tell them because we know already they get angry. But that is part of our social life and natural to us.

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