Tomorrow i have to give a lastminute presentation of 30 minutes to the board and managers (20 people, i do know them a bit). It was thrown my way lastminute and we decided i tell about my personal experience (including sz) and about peer support in an interactive way. We prepared today, a bit. In the afternoon we pitch and answer questions to a bigger group to earn 70000 for peer support.
Im awake now, at midnight, and im filled with terror. I do not WANT to speak. I especially do not want to tell 20 managers about my sz - who are they to know? I also do not want to talk about this subject, i know nothing yet. And i hate public speaking, i thoroughly hate it.
I want to call my boss tomorrow, cancel the presentation and quit the job (thats nothing new, we already spoke about the latter).
I don’t know the situation but at least you’re trying to make a positive difference. If you manage to gain the support from the bigger group then good on you, and if you didn’t it will have been worth trying. Try to get some rest and regain your composure. You can do it! Remind them there are those who would highly benefit from what you’re trying to accomplish.
Im so scared though. What if i mess up? Ill hurt myself and the topic. They arent using peer support much yet and we want to change that. What if i â– â– â– â– up? And what if they think im crazy?
No, they suddenly put it on the agenda end of last week for a pitch and then yesterday my boss said he negotiated it be 30 minutes. I want to quit the job anyway. Would just be stupid to cancel. They have a 2 hr meeting and will sit there doing nothing for 30 min if i cancel.
Don’t go in viewing it that way. Instead think to yourself, “I can do this.” As silly as it sounds tell yourself that in the mirror a few times. They taught me that in Speech 101. Even if things don’t work out your way do not blame yourself, think of what you will say and what you are trying to explain. I once went to a similar thing except I was viewed as the beneficiary of the assistance being offered.
Thanks all. Pff…so so scared! I dont know why i wanted to do this job. I will take a tiny bit more haldol to sleep and tell the mirror 30 times “i can do this” tomorrow.
First part is done! Im happy. This was the most scary part. People clapped even. Things went well i think. My boss helped me out a bit. Terror is over now.
They were impressed by my story. Doing such a public coming out is weird though.
