I’m so bored, depressed and lonely right now that I’m having thoughts of walking down to the corner, buying two or three Four Lokos and just getting ripped tonight, ■■■■ it.
My last drink was on 6/20/16, the day I got out of my last hospital stay. When I went into the hospital I’d been drinking heavy every night for nearly two years, and drinking heavy (just not every single night) for years before that.
I’ve been battling alcoholism since my early twenties.
I’ve come too far to break my sobriety now. A big part of me doesn’t care, though. I don’t know, I doubt I’ll do it. That would require me to get off my ass and walk to the corner, which isn’t far away at all.
It’s a mistake. You will regret it. It does not even make you happier, it is a delusion that it will help you.
Try eating ice cream. Go buy different types of ice cream and watch a movie.
Or
Just leave the house.
Go out and do something. Maybe movies, or a walk in the park, meet some friends.
I suppose I could go buy groceries, I don’t know. Maybe. My friends are busy tonight. I can’t afford to go to the movie theater, nor am I comfortable there. I cannot rent a movie now that I no longer have a tv or dvd player. The cd/dvd drive on my computer doesn’t work. The parks close at sunset, which is in about twenty minutes. Grocery shopping will be a little depressing with having to load up on crap like Ramen noodles now that I’m unemployed, but I suppose I could treat myself to a frozen pizza and some ice cream or pudding or something.
I have no interest in AA. I know it has helped a lot of people, but I personally have a low opinion of it. I would never be willing to go through the twelve steps, since I consider some of them to be garbage. Sorry, I know I’m crapping on something that helped you.
That’s ok, like I said I just got lucky that they helped. Maybe you could keep it in mind if things ever get desperate though. You never know.
The whole “group” thing helps a lot. Booze can be difficult to beat on your own. I’m an atheist and it got me sober. Plus I only got to step 3. So far anyway.
Yeah, part of my issue with the twelve steps is the “higher power” stuff. I know people say the higher power doesn’t have to be anything religious, but to me it would feel like having religion crammed down my throat.
I wouldn’t get past step 1. If I’m not mistaken, the first step is “admit you are powerless over your addiction.” That is ■■■■■■■■ in my opinion. No one is powerless, at least I know I am never powerless, and I think trying to convince someone that they are powerless over their addiction is a terrible thing to do.
My “higher power” was just the group of humans at the meeting. It worked for me !
I actually was powerless. I couldn’t quit. When I went I was willing to die for booze. But obviously some part of me wanted to live. So I’d hit rock bottom and was still falling…
It works. But you have to go of your own free will.
I’m not an alcoholic, but it sounds like you’re going through intense depression and anxiety. Fridays are the end of the work week, so I’d think Fridays are particularly tough to get through without drinking.
Are you healthy enough to run? Is there a safe place to run a long distance? If yes, maybe it would be a good idea to do an intense, long run? That would break the fever.
Another recommendation is to just eat a lot. I crave alcohol when I’m the slightest bit hungry but if I have a good meal the desire passes. Probably related to sugar levels too
Nothing like a good run to make yourself feel better. Maybe try things that usually work to cheer you up. The frozen pizza, a comedy. Think about good outcomes for the future… You will have a new job, things will work out. Soon things will be back to normal. Think positive.
One big thing that helps me when I get alcohol cravings is soda. Or just about anything with corn syrup that I can drink. Especially Coke - the actual brand-name drink, or ginger ale.
I just got home from doing some grocery shopping. Getting out itself helped a little. I’m currently having some of my favorite ice cream, Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food, while the oven preheats for a pizza. California Pizza Kitchen pizzas were on sale, so I’m trying their “signature pepperoni.” Usually when I get that brand I go for the Sicilian, but thought I’d try something different this time.
I won’t break my sobriety tonight; I will be fine. I can’t eat like this every night, though.
Yeah, exercise helps me with depression as well. It can be hard on my back, though. Maybe if I just scale it back and limit the cardio more I will be ok. I never did cancel my gym membership, so I could still go, haven’t been there in months.
yeah lol it is good you are staying strong. Tomorrow is a new day and things will change.