Having terrible self esteem issues and wondering if i should continue breathing tbh

I jsut want to crawl in to a hole and die. Im so tired of trying to defend my self im scared of being rejected. I really feel messed up completely. I im scared to look in the mirror as i feel as if i look old and ill. I dont want to be seen. Im scared of people taking the mick out of me. I feel so haggared now. No one likes me i look sick and have a mental illness. I was stupid for even considering myself worthy of being in love or having a companion.

I genuinely dont even know how i could of been so stupid.

Long story short. I let my bullies get to me as well as my mind due to this my bullies got the upper hand and abused me even more to the point of nearly dying of fright. And found the cures when it was too late. I feel bruised now and rejected.

How could i have been so stupid

You sound like you’re in distress? Are you still on meds?

I came off it on something else now.

Are you taking an antipsychotic ?

Yes i am im scared to say which one

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Don’t beat yourself up on aging. Its just part of life. We all go through stages of life and our body changes as we age. If we’re lucky.

Do you have any PRN for emergencies to calm you down?

I know but why do others do it. Why do they mention it when they have no idea.

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