Having poor social skills doesn't mean you're stupid

The only time i might have difficulty expressing myself is when acutely stressed and angry/agitated/ or frightened. There can be a bit of a cognitive meltdown then.


Yes,I always think I am not clever because of poor social skill,i think clever and having poor social skills cannot be totally related

I think that there is nothing at all related between social skills / social anxiety - and general intelligence. social anxiety runs across the entire range of intelligences - just like depression, and other mental illnesses.

Now - someone’s social anxiety might be triggered by inaccurate perceptions of their intelligence - or by excessive comparison mindsets - where people are frequently comparing themselves to people who they think might be more intelligent than them, but ignoring all the times they find someone might be less intelligent. Or because they jump to the wrong conclusion that just because someone knows something they don’t know - that they are somehow less intelligent - when everyone knows different things…

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That post came about because someone on another forum said i wasn’t getting support because of the way i express myself and then cited poor social skills . I had mentioned in the past it being noted by psychiatrists that i had poor social skills. So basically that was then used against me. It doesn’t always pay to be honest when posting as someone might choose to use it against you. I am always very upfront about areas i struggle,perhaps i shouldn’t be.

I’ve noticed the same. People seem to be so judgemental sometimes…and shallow. For years, I was seen as “slow”. In fact, a lot of “friends” around me called me that very word. It’s ironic because I was anything but slow. Just because I’m at a different level of thinking or way ahead of their thinking, I’m “slow” because I’m not where they are, so somehow I didn’t get it. I realize many times I interpret what people say in a warped perspective, but as an analytical, delusional, and open person, being called slow kinda is a jab. And after so many times it becomes unravelling. Eventually I started to predict what people’s responses were in different situations, and after being correct most of the time, could no longer just walk into a conversation with positive expectations.

You’re right, it doesn’t pay to be honest. Not with people who are narrow-minded and abusive. You could pump all the positivity and honesty into them, but most people who are like this will only return the opposite. It pays to be fair and sometimes that requires a person to be an absolute rock. It’s what’s best for them also.

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That other forum does not seem very supportive. :neutral_face:


Actually, many people with very high IQ report feeling socially awkward. Read an article recently about the national MENSA gathering and the attendees were saying this, that outside these gatherings they just feel socially awkward, like a fish out of water.

Not that I give much credence to IQ scores as I personally have scored all over the place at various times in my life. I do math at about a third grade level and score in the high 80th to high 90th percentile in everything else…

I got 4 A’s when I graduated from High School, and academic awards, but my social skills are poor and I’m awkward and shy. So somewhere along the line I failed to be good at something. Makes me stay humble, so its a good thing - you can’t be good at everything.

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The rich and elite train their kids early on how to be socially acceptable.
No one is born with the knowledge, and if you are sensitive enough to be aware that there are rules to follow, but you just don’t know them, that can cause a great deal of anxiety.
When you learn what the protocol is and how to respond, interactions become much easier.

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I’ve met a few people, more than a few people with Sz or other diagnoses that have high IQs in the 120s - 140s range and have social anxiety. they not only have high IQ, they are very knowledgeable in things like science, physics, botany, and are very creative in various arts as well, and spiritual.
Talking to some of them they feel that most people in society are actually beneath their level and they simply cannot relate or want to get involved in mundane conversations or close relationships, so they avoid all but the most casual contact like shopping and other business that requires little social contact.