Having a rough day again

This mental illness ruined my life.
I am still dealing with PTSD and resentment. I am extremely unhappy and jaded.

I stopped drinking alcohol, I have nothing to live for.
I smoke and it’s not giving me enjoyment either.

I don’t know what to do with my life or people around me. Everybody is happy, in love, they have homes, kids. Normal people. I have nothing.

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It’s that old thing comparing your insides to everyone else’s outsides.
First of all WELL DONE on giving up the drinking that’s no small thing.
When you stop drinking sometimes you deal with emotions that you haven’t felt in a long time.
It will therefore take time for you to feel better.

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I have been on a roller coaster for the past year and a half and it’s not getting better/

We don’t know how we will feel in time to come
Iwhat do you need self soothing is a good thing to learn bubble bath
Walk? Chocolate bar cup,of tea?

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Well done on giving up alchohol. It sounds like it might have been a crutch of some sort. That’s a victory! :sunny:

You say things have been a roller coaster. There’s good days and bad days with this disease. Maybe you’re just going through a bad few days where everything seems bad?

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Maybe some of that is the withdrawal from the alcohol. Anyway you have a lot to live for you have a job, a boyfriend, you are young and attractive. Maybe you need a hobby or something. Maybe playing a video game with tide you over for a while. What genre do you like? Also if you are strapped for cash kongregate has free games. Anyway you still have a lot going for you. You are probably one of highly functioning sz on this site. Cheer up.

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first I was on a BiPolar med, it was roller coaster.
Then I stopped that and was fine for a while.

Since I February 2015 I am not doing well. I have been thinking of leaving the country. Crying a lot. depression, anhedonia, emptiness… a lot of alcohol. I am not having good days. I am only convincing myself to appreciate my life and those around me but I just feel empty. As if I no longer have a heart and soul. Plus I am extremely lazy. I just come to work… go home… eat something and sleep for 12 hours. I go out to eat… see friends… I have a doc on wednesday, maybe he will increase wellbutrin. I am not sure but I wanna be happy.

Love you honey.

Hopefully for us those thoughts pass.

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I was on wellbrutin to stop smoking and it made me suicidal. Maybe wellbrutin is no good for you too.

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I agree with @everhopeful; perhaps you need a different antidepressant. Wellbutrin works great for me, though I do have to take 450 mg of it, but Zoloft made me suicidal, while Prozac did absolutely nothing. It’s all about finding the right med/dosage for you. It sounds like you’re doing well in spite of your illness, even if you are unable to see that, and quitting alcohol is a huge step.

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I felt that way some time ago…Everybody seemed to have a perfect fulfilled life but me …
So I wondered what I really wanted to do (start a business, study, not doing anything…). And the answer was travelling (it took me about a month to figure it out).
I visited some parts of Europe I didn’t know, Asia and the USA (only DC and NYC)… And it was fantastic! I’ve met new people and spent some quality time with my sister (the one I was travelling with)…

I think that maybe you should try something different or focus on a project that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time (a website for me)…it’s what keeps me going.

Hope that you will get better.

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I do the same, spend whatever awake time I have wondering why I bother, I’s not a good feeling and it seems to never end, I hope somehow you can find some happiness in the fact you have friends and a partner but I know with depression nothing really matters, Hope your doctor can help you out and it will take time.

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