Wow! @X_Y_Z That is an amazing journey you have been on then. Props to you definitely. I’m very glad you made it and survived. You could write a book I bet about your experiences. That would be a good read!
That is a haunting song lyric and feels so prophetic sadly for many with sz. I listened to most of the song. I don’t think I have heard that one before. Thanks for sharing.
I tried clozapine. It did work almost as well as olanzapine. But I had to do all the complicated bloodwork. Plus I had so many side effects too. I had tons of drooling and had to take a separate med for that and I still drooled. Then I had some weight gain (not a lot though). And finally my bloodwork got wonky so I decided enough was enough and I got off of it.
It wasn’t a cure for the negative symptoms for me sadly.
I’m on my good old olanzapine now. I’m on Rexulti too but I’d almost like to try to get off of it.
I am not sure about a book, as I can recollect two of my close friends who were in touch. I can’t mention their name as one was very famous in my city. And the other completed his MBA the day of his graduation he died.
And another person whom I used to play football he died after he smoked a cig. He had an issue with lungs and bed ridden. I heard he requested his friend to buy a cig and he smoked and died.
For the last several years I’ve missed out on a lot. But during my thirties I did all kinds of fun stuff. Movies, restaurants, comedy clubs, picnics, barbecues, plays, sports, parties etc. And even before that, when I was addicted to drugs in my late 20’s I was going places and doing things. I started slowing down my activities in my forties and fifties but still occasionally did fun things. Now in my sixties I’m content to stay home and enjoy my solitude.
What did disable me in my youth was crippling anxiety and the fact that I was highly sensitive. I think that everything was ruined and robbed from me because of it. I didn’t develop sz until I was 31.
I wanted to date but couldn’t, I wanted to make friends but couldn’t, I wanted to practice martial arts but couldn’t. I can’t leave my own apartment without becoming a nervous wreck.
It really sucks all the energy from me.
Sz just turned me into a living vegetable. I take my meds, sleep a lot and lie on the couch and bed.
I haven’t missed out on all of life’s pleasures, but I’ve undoubtedly missed out on some. For me, that more to do with the quite severe social anxiety and bullying related trauma, than the schizoaffective itself. I don’t do well when under pressure. Stress is not my friend. I do my best to live a life that minimises the harmful effects of stress.
My twenties I was tortured by voices etc
Only time i didn’t have them was when I was incredibly drunk .
I never drank daily but I did binge drink.
I did have a true beaut man who took care of me kinda and we are now friends n known each other 24 years or so.really appreciate him.he is amazing.
Thankfully my voices went away.
Suffered a lot .
Had some nice moments with my friend.very precious.
I begged and prayed voices to go away and they finally did when I was about thirty .
I couldn’t marry or havd children because I was a mess and because of what voices were saying about me marrying and children and because “my family “ said i should never have children.
I don’t really talk to anyone about my issues anymore except my psychiatric nurse. I’ve learned nobody else wants or gets paid enough to hear about it.
But do I think I’ve missed out on life?
Kind of, but not really. I have a husband, I have a daughter of my own and a step son…. But I also feel I did a decent amount of living before I went into psychosis… (diagnosed at 22)
Yes but I’m working my way up again.
I found ppl with money have a lot of problems too. Not as bad as ours obviously but they have cheating spouses etc.
yeah prob not all, theyre just different. but idk if i care.
I confess the joy of punishing myself.
By the way no perfect marriage exists. Even happy marriages go through troubled times. I have achieved most of what you mentioned in your list. Just because you have a disability doesn’t mean you can’t be happy in life or get some things you really want.
It’s a tough road @Lickety-split. You have a fair and balanced view. The recovery stage is a long journey. For me negatives come and go but you’re totally right to take steps to make life low stress, low key and simpler. Your insight will lead to improved wellness. Thanks for sharing. Makes me feel less… “Why me?”.
Well, I feel like crap most of the time
I don’t make friends because they are often drug addicts who take advantage of me
I can’t drink or smoke anymore
So it’s just me hanging out with my cat and family
I wish I could make a few good friends
But I’ve been hurt very badly by many of them
Blehhhh I’m used to flying solo anyway
You’ve got insight though @Cloudd3ad . Insight leads to wellness.
I would say that schizophrenia has delayed, postponed and tardied my timing to enjoy all of life’s pleasures such as having a family and children. I wasted 8-10 years doing nothing until my age daunted on me to get my act together.
Im tryna go into as much remission as possible. We’ll see what time has to offer
I always made sure that I didn’t miss out on anything, sza or no. I always did everything that I wanted to do. Everything that I ever dreamed of doing. I either did it or tried to do it.
And I still have a few more things I want to do. Like visit Ireland and Spain. And live in Mexico.