I feel like I learned far more about myself from psychosis than I ever wished to know. I wasn’t cooperative at all about taking my meds in the hospital, at least at first. I didn’t trust the nurses there at all. I think that signifies a lack of trust in the people I should be putting it in.
I don’t have a very high opinion of myself, hence why I thought I was Satan/other “bad” figures from the Bible.
I’m extremely fearful of anything happening to my friends and family. I thought my family was being harmed by an outside force and I wanted to keep them safe. (Unfortunately, later on during my psychosis, I believed they’d died at my hand; imagine my surprise when they came to visit me!)
I hugged random people at the hospital. Not a great thing to do but could’ve been worse I guess. I might have trouble with boundaries?
Of course, who we are when psychotic probably doesn’t too keenly reflect who we really are. idk, I’m bored I guess.
I’ve learned a lot about myself from being manic. From hallucinating the striped shirt boy I realize I feel guilty about having an abortion a decade ago.
I think I learned mostly that I’m very gullible in some respects and need to be more mindful about seeking the truth over just believing whatever I’m told or whatever pops in my mind.
Don’t trust other people (especially ‘normal people’) easily with your diagnosis. More often than not, they will say something hurtful or treat you differently thereafter. After a ‘best friend’ turned ‘frenemy’ and significantly hurt me by dumping me during an especially trying time (and dragging my name through the dirt), I slowly learned that psychosis is something you just don’t mention to anyone (apart from people on sites like this). This rule isn’t set in stone, but for the most part, I’ve only experienced stigma from ‘normal’ people.
Don’t try to be friends with your therapist or social worker. Keep it as professional as possible. Again, after trying especially hard during a period of intense loneliness, I found out the hard way that a very ‘kind’ and ‘friendly’ social worker was, surprise, just a person paid to babysit. The same is true of therapists, but they are paid to help you in a friendly way. They’re not your buddy and, as sad as it seems, sometimes they can be your enemy.
Journal. Journal a lot. However you got to where you are today, it usually involved trying, pressurizing and difficult circumstances. Your brain is likely a jumbled mess and, however you took the psychosis, it could mean that you’re quite confused about life, philosophy and existence. Writing down my thoughts and organizing them was frustrating, at first, but as the years went by, I found myself progressively more at peace with the entire situation, largely, because I journal and explore my thoughts frequently.
No matter how tempting, do not stop medication. It is possible to live off medication, but living successfully is very rare. John Nash didn’t take his medicine, and went on to win the Abel Prize in Mathematics… but the general rule of thumb is that these kinds of lives off medicine are few and far between. I tried and lasted one year. By the end, I was stark raving mad.
Don’t kill yourself. There’s plenty to live for. Create a list of ‘Reasons to Live’ if necessary and go to the hospital if it all becomes too much. Apply Rule No. 02 during hospitalization.
Try not to blame people for your psychosis. It will seem tempting, but getting caught up with hatred and judgment for other people just turns your insides rotten. The sooner your move on, the better.
Continue to develop your imagination and intelligence. It will be necessary to pull yourself out of the pit.
Little bit conspiracies but mostly extreme belief in everything I was ever told about the supernatural and paranormal! Most of it came from my mother and various “spiritual” friends that I absorbed into my reality. Also took literature on those subjects as truth.
I eventually learned not to trust or listen to my voices. They are just trying to mess me up. If they ever say anything true, it is something obvious that I am just realizing myself!
I saw the edges of reality unfurl, and had a strong sense that it was all an illusion. That is a very persistent belief, but I want to live in this reality, not as an outsider, looking in. Let the veil be lifted after death, I’m not ready for it yet.
I learnt how horrible things can be. I did the hugging too … I learnt how scared I can get. Basically I learnt n saw wat I’m like at extremes of emotion including lust anxiety panic laughter grandeur feelings
My years before listening to voices (and with the psychosis later) were very depressive, I’ve felt empty, with zero motivation to be here and with horrible thoughts about myself. I did what I could with the negative symptoms for 8 years. When they finally come I’ve felt free! I was finally free!
Finally I understood why this was happening to me, it was a relief to know, I was going nuts with questions to my brain and the answers that I had were getting more stupid as I was going to close to hearing them.
Shortly after I started to hearing them, I had my psychosis and I cried a lot for a while(only a few days not much) with some funny episodes too. Anyway what I’m trying to say is that before I was very sensitive and got sad for stupid reasons. After I had my psychosis I’ve felt myself again and stop caring so much with other’s emotions, I felt free from anxiety attacks, from horribles headaches, guilt issues… I lived a lie, that’s was what I have learned
