I got off my med’s one time because I thought they were giving me med’s as punishment and not therapy. The result was catastrophic. I’ve seen enough, and I have enough experience to know that I have to have med’s. If I was living on the street I couldn’t take them though, because they make you so vulnerable to the weather.
I used to think that the meds were poison and just an attempt to chemically lobotomize me. Now I think of them as anesthesia.
“Hey you, hey you, this wont hurt a bit
says who? says who? Anesthetize this bitch!”
When I was a kid I hated meds with a passion. I did think they were a punishment.
I went through a phase where I was also sure they were being pumped into me as a punishment… as a way to keep me down and tame. I was very resentful…
Now… The right med… the right dose… not being hospitalized in a long time… feeling parts of my mind heal… I don’t like them… but I’ve come to accept… I need them.
But with CBT and other therapies… I am working for lower doses.
There have been times when I thought the doctor was giving me anti-psych med’s just as a perverse, sadistic whim, and it made me really, really mad. During those times I quit taking those med’s every time I had a chance, and I went on some bizzare emotional binges and exhibited some bizzare behavior.