Have you ever felt like you were getting med's as punishment, and not as therapy?

It’s felt like that to me before. I’m afraid that they are going to use med’s to punish me again. Haldol sucks.

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Once when I was in the hospital, the nurse used a forced injection as punishment for arguing with her.

When I was psychotic, I viewed meds as poison and did just about everything I could do to avoid them.

Now that I am stable, I do not view them as punishment at all. They are what is necessary for me to remain in a good mental state. Would I prefer it if they weren’t necessary? Yes. Do I try to take the minimum dose that I can and remain stable? Yes. But I view them as something that is necessary for many.

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One time I was in the hospital and I was calling Amnesty International on the phone. They’re a human rights organization, and exposing abuse in the psychiatric system is a part of their mission. I was getting the run around from the guy on the phone. He was there to raise money, and I wanted to lodge a complaint about what I saw as a bogus commitment. Finally, in my frustration I said, “We have Daniel Ortega here, and we are going to shoot him in the head if you keep downplaying my situation.” “Daniel Ortega” was the leader of the Sandinista government at the time. The head nurse behind the desk overheard me, and she thought I was making a specific threat. She had me put on Haldol. I was so angry! I told her “I am going to remember this, and I am going to remember you.” That came out more aggressive than I meant it. I didn’t mean I would use actual violence against her, but if she had a flat or something I wouldn’t stop to help her, or something like that.

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I had a similar experience and i swear the nurse made the injection so id be really soar. I wasnt resisting at all and they still had ten people come hold me down super embarrassing. I was soar for 3 weeks.

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I can live with getting stuck by a needle. It’s the effects of Haldol that I hate. There is nothing worse.

Punishment would be taking my meds away.

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