In the 3rd grade, someone shouted “Someone stole my 50 cent piece.” I thought “Nobody stole it, you lost it.” But that was my tricky mind because I think I stole it without knowing it and after she complained, I found a way to return it. I am finding evidence that I was really a bad kid. I’m actually not surprised given my living situation. I’m also discovering that I have said things without knowing I was speaking. No wonder it required years before I realized there were reasons I didn’t have any friends and mistreated those who offered their friendship. I could only be insincere if extending a social hand. Just a bad seed. Nothing comes of nothing.
I’ve always been acutely aware of what I was doing. Except when I was psychotic I guess.
Well, at the time I was unaware, I felt absolutely normal. I think I had been flattered.