Has anyone else felt as if they were always different? Like maybe they’ve been schizo their whole life, but didn’t realize it until the positive symptoms started to show?
I remember as far back as the fourth grade always having this inner reassurance that no matter what happened in life I would automatically become somebody who was successful and important. My whole life I’ve always had the fear people would hear my thoughts or I’d whisper what I was thinking out loud when I let my guard down. There are some more odd delusions that really didn’t feel all that compelling as they do now adays but still felt like they could be true. I also remember just listening to my thoughts. Like not thinking but just laying and listening to them go back and forth and automatically come up with things and scenarios and talk back and forth to each other. Is that a normal thing? We’re those possibly voices before I realized what they were? Did those thoughts manifest into voices? I would listen to them for hours on end staring at the ceiling or the wall.
I’m new to this forum type stuff and I think it’s absolutely incredible you can get so many opinions in such little amount of time! Everyone’s two cents is accepted and actually encouraged!
yes, I was always different…after I became diagnosed it all fell into place…ofcourse…I’m schizophrenic !! I was always too sensitive to life. now it makes sense…welcome to the forum by the way. @April296
I’ve always felt different. I hallucinated as early as she 7 that I remember. Everyone blew it off as an active imagination, but I still see those same creatures that I used to see. My first medically documented hallucinations were at age 11. My first psychotic break was age 18 and I was “off” for several years before that.
Yeah, I was always the weird kid in school. I used to whisper to myself out loud because I wanted ghosts to hear me, sometimes in the middle of class when I got bored. It’s super embarrassing to look back on
I feel like I’ve always been a little different. Even at around age 3 I would just sit in my room playing by myself for hours until I was hungry or needed something. I continued this with it getting progressively more intense with longer periods of time completely alone up until I was about 13, and that’s when I actually started having an inability to be alone for any extended period of time. So I’ve always been at one extreme or the other. At around 11 or 12 I would actually come straight home from school and go in my room and shut the door, and stay in there until dinner time. Then I would scarf down my meal and go straight back into my room until I fell asleep.
First grade: the other kids formed a ring around me like a murder of crows. The ringleader, Jennifer Race, a fair-faced, charismatic little girl, advanced to do something bad to me. I hit her in the abdomen and ran like hell home.
Yes, very different. But despite that I did a lot of normal things with friends while I was growing up. We played sports like baseball and football a lot. We used to get up at 5:00 or 6:00 am and ride our bikes to a nearby pond/lake to fish, I once bought ping-pong table for $20.00 and I put it in my friends garage and we played a million games of ping-pong. We used to go bowling or shoot pool at the bowling alley.
Later when my friend got his license at age 16 we used to go to the beach all the time. Girls considered my friends good looking and I wasn’t so that made hanging around them and keeping up more difficult. But we were always going to the beach or hiking in the mountains. One of my friends had a dough boy pool and we went swimming during the summer.
Then came pot into the picture. We really got into smoking and selling pot. Our new favorite pastime. A joint at my friends house before school each morning, a joint while we were walking to school, a few joints at ten o clock break and more at lunch.
We got drunk every weekend during the school year. We were underage and we had to either get my friends older brother to buy it for us or we stood outside the liquor store and tapped shoulders.
But yeah, I had a lot of fun but I was very shy and didn’t talk much around people I didn’t know. It wasn’t until me and my friends got out of high school that my friends told me they always had people asking them why I didn’t talk. But nevertheless, my friend lived at the end of a cul-de-sac and 4 of us used to hang out in the street and the local girls came out and we all hung out. I had a lot of fun but I looked different and I was introverted, quiet and withdrawn.
I’ve always had some delusional beliefs, even as a kid. I believed I had escaped from a secret government prison camp for training child assassins. I believed every car that drove past when I was playing was the government, coming to take me back. My friends thought it was funny when I would jump into the ditch every time a car drove down the street. Looking back, it probably was pretty funny.
I was different since 11 years old for sure, that’s when the trauma came. Before that there might of been something different about me, but overall I was just a kid
When I was a kid, I didn’t feel different. But other people told me that I was different and this always puzzled me. They called me, “weird, odd, and strange”.
when I was a kid I felt different… as a young adult in my ignorance i thought everyone was like me and dealt with sz types of problems… now I feel different again…
To me, feeling different especially at that young age is a sign of intelligence. I know I wasn’t smart when I was young and I would never think of something like I was different. Never wanted to be different. Then I grew up I wanted to be different, and then I was smarter because I started thinking for myself. Although took it a little too far
I’ve always felt different. As a child I thought I had ESP and could communicate with spirits and god’s. I even believed I could fly if I worked hard enough at it. I would get prophetic dreams and would spend months trying to convince people they were true. One of my voices has even been with me forever. I think of her as my twin sister.