Have you had poeple push you to work and not rely on disability or have a relationship or any other thing they thought was normal?
Of course we are an odd bunch who dont fit in most peoples cookie cutter views of the world… Just take it in stride whats good for the gander is not always best for the goose especialy a sz goose lol.
My mother and her husband flip back and forth. I think their big problem is that they always try to jump the gun. Like recently as soon as my mother’s husband caught whiff that I was going to see a psychiatrist, he started pressuring me to get a job working in the industrial part of the city, going there to work with no car, which would be dumb and dangerous. However for months when I was just rotting around the house, he didn’t have a word to say about me working. It’s like I’m expected to either fulfill my role as the total loser in the family, or if I try to succeed, I need to succeed 100% RIGHT NOW.
Yes, at times… and I’m very thankful for that. You know, with schizophrenia one can easily fall for a defeatist perspective on life. When the chips are down, it is easy to give up on life. This is when we should rely on our loved ones, and acknowledge the extend to which schizophrenia screws our perspective, i.e., we have to trust others’ judgment over our own, even if it is concerned with what we ourselves are capable of. I managed to do some things I wouldn’t think I was ever capable of doing at the time, only because my family pushed me to do them. Them pushing me hurted me, I felt they did not understand the depth of (negative) symptoms and were just rude for pushing me despite these… For surely, I would know best what I was capable of and what I wasn’t. Well, I didn’t. Schizophrenia can be humbling, for sure, and we can perceive of discarding our own judgment in favour of others’ as humiliating. We can be proud and resist that. But one may ask, how far does such an attitude get me?
I believe we’re perfectly capable of living normal lives. Yes, for some this illness is so debilitating that that’s near to impossible, but for most of us it is possible.
If it wasn’t for my family’s support I probably would’ve sink into the desperation of not amounting to anything, but I didn’t. I have goals in life, and I’m sure to attain them.
Some here on this site are inspirational because of that, they accomplish and don’t hold back in leading normal lives.
It is possible.
I just figured out the “process flow” of a normal person:
- If they don’t have childhood trauma, their psychological well-being is OK when reach mid teen.
- Then they will start focusing on appearance, building muscle, exercise for fitness from late teen.
- Now they look for jobs and career, and have financial planning, or make investment since their early twenties
- It is the time they engage in relationship and then marriage. They become the head of household and teach their kids. This happens around late twenties to early thirties.
- (I don’t quite sure about this part— the society as a whole–something to do with social responsibility?)
As you can see, at least me is stuck at stage number 1. I kept struggling with personal and family issues at young age. If I can get over it, I can start forgetting my past and focus my attention on something else.
I was pushed by both myself and others before I was diagnosed.
I think the whole idea of “normal” needs to be thrown out the window. Each person in any circumstance does what he/she can. I tried when I was young. I wanted more…to attain more. I’m not a “loser” with a lazy loser mentality, and yet I “failed” to attain more. It’s impossible to explain the wall that I kept running head-on into when I tried to do things “normal” young people do. I broke inside every time until I couldn’t try any more. We all have different breaking points. Now, I work a low stress job for six hours a day (I’m very lucky), and I actually found someone who loves me (and this is a hard one to trust, but I make myself), and so I live in a house and I drive a car… It all looks pretty normal. I’ve reached my place of “normalcy”, but for each of us that’s going to be different. I did what worked for me. I’ve reached my place of function. Finding that for yourself is, imo, the goal, and not some idea of “normal”.
I want to succeed for myself, but there are members in my family that never got the memo that people succeed at varying degrees. It is a bit traumatic to not be able to provide for ones self anymore. Other peoples perceptions just make it worst. It can be really isolating not to have common ground with others.