I used to kind of think i was the ■■■■ but now i feel so humbled, my illness shows me that im NOT the ■■■■ and other people have noticed that. if theres any positive in this, its the humility it brings.
I use think I was the total ■■■■. Then BAM! it was like god struck me with me lightning for my thoughts, humbled the ■■■■ out of me.
Yeah that’s part of it.
Like I said man you’ve got a total head start on this.
Schizophrenia in a lot cases means forced introspection. There is a lot that can be gained from this. Keep it balanced though.
At times. It has also taught me gratitude. But for the Grace of God, etc.
My ego has been destroyed intentionally and unintentionally. I became very concerned with the term “ego” when I began taking psychedelic drugs when I was 19. I probably began my interest in it for the wrong reasons, but it has helped me in many ways. I used to think I was the ■■■■ too before I became completely psychotic. But I have been greatly humbled by this illness. I am now a spiritually-inclined person after thinking I was a know-it-all atheist (not saying all atheists are know-it-all’s, but that’s what I was). Sometimes I’m grateful for this illness. Really the only disadvantage I see in my illness right now is having to pay extra $$$ each month for my medications and doctor…although the therapy I get from my doctor and social worker are advantages. Other than that though most of my illness can be said to be positive! At least compared to what my life was previously. I never would be so grateful if it weren’t for this illness. Peace XD
that sounds a lot like my journey. i was never an atheist but i was never exactly not one either.
if you’ve ever been on Y!A theres usually an atheist population rivaling the population of NYC, and they’re mostly a bunch of preteen-teen know-it-alls. But like you said they’re not all bad.
I’m a total athiest here. I don’t talk about it much. I think about it even less. The experience is what it is.
Oh man you’re going to hell
yeah you’re right. The humility. you should’ve heard all the stuff I told my psychiatrist when I was sick.
Hah. good one. Well I’m pretty sure my whole family will be there. So it goes.
You don’t have to be a believer in God to be spiritual though IMO. I just say atheist because I’ve changed so much from this punk kid attitude, angry at the world type to where I am now. Lots of athiests are egoists because they don’t believe in a “power greater than themselves”…I’ve gone to AA and step 2 was easy if I could have ever gotten past step 1 (believing you’re an alcoholic)…but I guess what I’m trying to say is, they teach in AA that you don’t have to believe in God to believe in the step that uses the word “God”…as long as you believe there’s powers greater than yourself…like science, the universe, your parents, or whatever it may be. As long as your humble. Hope I’m making sense.
i get what you mean completely
I lived in a sober house for a while and was forced to attend AA meetings which I hated, but I learned a lot from them truthfully. I don’t believe I’m an alcoholic, although, I have abused substances in the past…it was more my psychosis complimenting my substance abuse, making it worse than your average individual…and me having delusions that I should take drugs…self-medication, being gullible by my peers telling me I should take drugs, trying to become a certain image, etc… Since I’ve moved out I drink very casually. But AA teaches some real good ■■■■. I don’t like everyone in the rooms and it gives me anxiety and whatnot, but Bill Wilson was a good guy and taught some good principles IMO.
I thought schizophrenia was supposed to cause narcissism?
But narcissism is a defense mechanism.
Everyone deals with trauma in different ways. In ways this has increased my confidence and other ways reduced it. For me this has felt like an awakening of sorts, coming to the realization of the paranormal. In a way it makes me feel a part and let in on something bigger.
Crystal clear man. I gained something from that.
It’s been setting in though, that I can’t be everything and there are people out there who outclass me in every way.
I do like myself though. I’ll let the human collective be my higher power. That might have been what was going to set in if I kept following the train of thoughts I was starting to have.
I’ve grown humble, but I would have probably gained more humility had this illness not happened to me.
Narcissism is loving the self.
Conceit and trying to project superiority. That’s show lack of empathy and contentment.
The dominance structure though is ingrained in us and our society. Naturally people would try to feel superior when they can. Frankly ■■■■■■■■ but I’ve struggled with it a lot.
Effort seems to be respected more than anything. I was never one to exert undo effort.
That’s why I quit hanging out with the bros. To much subtle ■■■■■■■■ going on. To many expectations.
I like having knowledge many other people do not have. It is esoteric, and for me this situation makes me think people are a lot dumber than I previously thought. I also feel a lot smarter than I originally thought!