Has anyone put a relative in a nursing home or care facility?

I don’t remember if I’ve asked before,

But does anyone have any experience with putting someone in a nursing home?

Basically, I don’t know anything and can’t make calls to find out because my mother in law is always in the room.

How did/would you bring it up?

How much did it cost?

Any advice would be appreciated.

I’m pretty much being ignored on several other caregiver forums.

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Does your MIL ever take long naps? You may be able to call then. I’ve been in nursing homes that smell like urine (my dad’s dad). My aunt put my grandmother(Dads mom) in one that was very clean and my grandmother was treated well there. Maybe look online and check out the reviews in your area.

When I worked for the landline phone company we put phones in for nursing home residents all the time but we were required to call the home to verify residency. But that was just the company I worked for. It may be different where you are.

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We put my grandmother in one. She had medicare and Tricare.

That paid for nearly all of it.

We went and met with them in person. The place was close to where we live. I could walk there. But she passed away a couple of years ago. She was 93 and got the flu and couldn’t fight it off.

She got a retirement check from the military as well from her first husband and we paid the small monthly fee with that. The rest she got to keep.


Call nursing homes in your area you think look good. Ask around. They will set you up with interviews and you can tour the places. They will talk to you about insurance, etc. I sat with my FIL and visited with him during the times they toured places. My mil also went on her own. We didn’t tell him until it was finalized where he was going.

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How did he take it?

I figure your MIL will be pissed :rage:

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He was okay with it. Mil was more upset. He did have trouble adjusting for about a week, but the nurses made sure he participated with the activities there. If it is a good place they will have activities for him everyday. Also you will want to set her up with hospice. They will provide a lot of things you have to provide yourself.


She will be.

But it’s for her own good.

She’s falling apart and I can’t keep up with it anymore.

I’m sure she’ll be upset, but my husband has got to find a way to cope with it and tell her.


In my experience with my grandma in my town nursing homes are horrible, lots of neglect and abuse and shitty underpaid staff, hopefully you have a better experience.

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boy do you have a situation on your hands…I wouldn’t be the one to tell her…have your husband do it…it’s his mother …that’s the way I see it anyways. and beg your husband beforehand not to let her sway him.

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