Schizophrenia.com

Has anyone here ever been triggered by a compliment?

I hate to say this… but I think I’ve been struggling due to a letter my sis wrote.

It’s full of nice stuff… it’s a huge congratulations on not going through her room, not having a sleep walking incident in a while… gold star for flying to the wedding… gold star for my grades that turned out better then I expected.

She did it to be nice and supportive… but some of the stuff she brought up… resurfaced it in my head… now it feels like its trying to come up again. Like I forgot to sleepwalk, so now I might sleep walk again.

I don’t want to think she’s planning my downfall… we all know that’s not true.

I don’t want to tell her that being nice to me and pointing out my improvement is a bad thing… but some of the glitches that I forgot about… I’ve been reminded of.

Sometimes… I really hate my brain.

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It sounds like a good time to let go. Even if that defies all logic, and even if it feels impossible.
When things resurface tell yourself it’s OK. They’re going to resurface one way or another so you might as well face it. It’s part of healing right? I’m going through something similar

Like my friend psychiatrist told me. Allow the anxiety to flow through you. Not develop in you.

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I think I can relate, but in a much more morbid way. In the hospital, we had the dreaded family therapy which would descend into a yelling and shoving match. This was in the adolescent wing. Everyone would walk out more pissed off than when they went in. But I had a nice LCSW who would pull me aside and wipe my tears and tell me my parents were out of line.

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But you just did tell her, since she is on the forum too…

It seems the only thing you are worrying about is the sleepwalking? I wouldn’t worry about it unless it happens… and when it has happened has anything bad happened? I know some people sleepwalk and are ok, but others ram into walls or can fall down hard and stuff. I’ve heard of people walking out into the street…that wouldnt be so good.

She’s just being nice and complimenting on things you’ve excelled at…like i remember you were really nervous about flying but did it anyways…

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i feel difficult when i am complimented…my low self esteem and self hatred is so immense.
your sis was just being nice and supportive…and she knows that if she writes it to you , you can look back at it as a great memory.
take care

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Yeah, it’s unfortunate her nice gesture would cause you that problem. Obviously it wasn’t her intent and you worrying now is the LAST thing she wants.

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if there is one compliment people give me that triggers my self-hatred, it is when they say to me “You’re so tall, you should become a model!” I hate being reminded that I am 5’11’’!!!

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Can’t say i’m triggered but compliments make me feel awkward. I think it’s because of low self esteem/worth.

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I’m not sure why but complimenting my son or taking the time to point out how good he is doing seems to sometimes have the opposite affect to what my intentions are. He’s unofficially ADHD and ODD so I try to follow the guidelines of ‘building on the good’ however it seems that when I tell him or his team within his earshot how good he is doing, it backfires. One example: If I point out that he hasn’t slept on the sofa for awhile then that night he sleeps on the sofa… I guess bringing attention to it causes the brain to center on it, whereas not bringing attention to it helps to keep it in the past…

That’s sort of how I feel. I guess because I’m not actively working on not sleep walking, I just haven’t been doing it. I wasn’t working on not snooping through my sis’s room, I just forgot to do it. Being complemented on stuff just because my brain finally let go of it… doesn’t seem to make me feel better.

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I can totally relate. I’m getting better, but it’s still hard. When I went to Africa I went in a small shop, and the owner was very interested in me. He was asking if my husband was with me. I said no he’s back in the states. He gave me a necklace with a pendent in the shape of Africa. It made me feel bad, like not just having attention paid to me but also guilt for getting something for free. I’ve also had a hard time with how nice Jason is to me. The first night we met he was buying drinks for me and I had a hard time with that. In the past I would’ve slept with him just because he was being nice to me. I have learned through therapy to think before I talk, so when Jason complements me I bite my tongue and say thank you. I’ve learned to not express what I’m thinking. I have always struggled with low self esteem. When I was nine and being sexually abused the guy told me he was doing me a favor because someday I would go to a guy’s house and he would whip it out and James wanted me to know what it was. I remember wanting to write him a letter to thank him for doing that for me. How ■■■■■■ up is that? The abuse continued for a year because I felt too guilty to tell my mom. Talk about it with your therapist though J. It takes time but you’ll get better. :sunny:

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I am so sorry you had to go through that. But you are becoming a stronger person now. I’m glad you’ve found Jason and that the two of you are learning, growing and can find something positive after all that darkness.

I am going to talk to the therapist. I have an appointment next week.

I do believe it’s a mixed bag of things going on.

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Thanks J! Therapy really helped me, and I’m telling you just filter what you say. I know you probably tell your sister everything, I do that with my mom, but it shows confidence when you don’t say that a compliment triggered you. Don’t hold it in though, let it out in therapy. I’m glad you have an appointment next week, they’ll be able to guide you on how to handle it. Good luck! :sunny:

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