My flatpicking guitarist that usually comes to my parties is in the throes of alcoholism and it depresses me and in addition he said he needed a ride to and from his hotel room he was going to get…I told him no rides possible, which is true, I hope he stays home…this party is important to me and he is no good when he drinks so much for the party so I let him go…am I being selfish?
I don’t think so. It’s your party and you just want to enjoy it without any problems. I would have done the same thing.
Don’t feel sorry for him. If it’s you or him, don’t you want it to be him, know what I mean?
I don’t find is selfish to practice self care.
He’s not in a good place and doesn’t seems to want to get help. That puts you in a tough place, but it’s better to let one person go than subject yourself and others to their addictions.
Who knows, maybe this’ll be the shock that finally triggers him to quit.
On that note, being an addict myself, I don’t hold any ill-will towards people who cut me off and let me go.
I wanted to let myself go sometimes too.
I wasn’t safe for them, wasn’t safe for myself.
Took me some years of dual diagnosis therapy to come to that. It still hurts, and I miss some people I can never have back, but I understand why.
It’s not selfish at all. He can order an Uber each way. He’s a grown man. He needs to take care of himself and not rely on you for rides to and from your own party. It’s rude. And presumptuous.
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