I dont like offending anyone but when i am offended and i offend back i feel guilt that i did. This feeling makes me uncomfortable. I just want to offend those who has offended me more than once and i don’t want to feel guilt. What a complicated illness is this schizophrenia.
This hits very close to home with me. I unfortunately sometimes do the same thing. I wish I could let some stuff go more easily. But I do feel a lot of guilt when I get snippy and hurtful with someone.
Maybe next time i offend back i shouldn’t call that person to make him feel better. I should tell myself that i did right think until i get rid of that feeling.
Oh, these are people you know… I accidently get snippy with people on the bus or in the park. Then I feel bad about it for bit.
With people I know I am trying to maintain a sense of humor, but I do have some family that is just humorless. There are times when I think my SZ is hilarious. There are some odd things that really do amuse me. But some family gets so sensitive that I just have to convince them to lighten up.
I do also try to make humor of things that are tough. But my mom doesn’t always understand my jokes. She says I need a smiley over my head so she can tell when I’m joking and when I’m serious.
I can understand that. Sometimes I can’t tell if my son is serious or joking. He will say “Don’t you have a sense of humor?” It’s a little hard because when he was unwell he would say almost the same things but actually mean it. Now that he is stable he says them as jokes. An example would be comments about me doing things for him like I was his minion. He used to treat me like I was. Now he doesn’t. So it’s hard to tell the difference. Doing my best to now treat things like this with humor. It’s nice to see my son’s sense of humor coming out.
I try to teach my son that two wrongs don’t make a right. It’s not an easy line but I think you can stand up for yourself without trying to hurt back. It’s something I struggle with too. For instance my son can hurt my feelings a lot when he is not well. Does that mean that I try to hurt him? I don’t see myself as a hurtful person so I do my best to not be hurtful or offend. Sometimes the offending person is not even aware that they have offended due to their own struggles.
I hate looking back and thinking about what I’ve done to my parents and my younger brother when I was really in the thick of my problems. I do not like who I was back then. I am still amazed that I even have a family left after what I’ve put them through. But now I can tell them how grateful I am that they didn’t leave me after all this.
Two of my brothers really suffered when I was falling apart and couldn’t figure out why. I really took a lot out on them. That relationship is still odd. It’s going to take work, but hopefully someday we can get back on comfortable speaking terms.
The guilt feeling has lessens a lot since i reduced the dose of my med. i also became a little courageous, but i missed my natural courage. Damn this meds are altering every thing.
Try responding to the offense by pointing out the offending behavior and how it made you feel, rather than by attacking the person personally.
This lets the other person know their behavior was offensive (something they consciously can change if they want to) and they can respond appropriately by (?) apologizing, and “save face”.
Attacking someone personally (ie. name calling isn’t helpful because the person can’t change what they are, and just makes them defensive.