Grief and the ill mind

Can grief affect someone with schizophrenia differently
I think that I’ve been experiencing this now, for awhile.
You see I went mad for someone I’d liked, and I’ have had only slept over 5 hours about 14 times this year.
My psychologist believed that I have avoidance issues,

I had a very good friend who introduced me to Hydroponic farming then she passed. I was not able to forgive my self. I did not visit her in her last days and asked her when you will come to work. The client is waiting and she passed away the next day. I can’t even forgive my self even now. She gave me aloe vera plant it’s still with me. I feel I was so cruel to her.

I couldn’t imagine what you’ve gone through.
My heart isn’t sensitive I cannot even feel my Own feelings.
But that must be hard.
It’s like we hate ourselves there’s just no peace

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