I absolutely HATE public speaking and I have to get up in fking English class and do a GD Power Point on Tuesday. NOT looking forward to it. Granted, it’s only 20 people. Not 200 or 2,000 or 200,000 but still. I have to imagine what it would be like to get up in front of bajillions of people in order to make it seem small by comparison. I tried the whole picture them in their underwear thing but it doesn’t do it for me. Can’t wait to survive Tuesday and be done with it. Can’t skip. It’s 50 points. I don’t get why I have to speak in English. It isn’t public Fking speaking, for Christ’s sake. I am not even being graded on my Power Point, only my talk.
I remember all that public speaking malarkey when I was in school. Imagine them naked, right? They have to do it too, right? Pull the fire alarm, not recommended as this only buys a little time. If the teacher didn’t select a topic I saw to it that it was the most boring subject imaginable. I did all of the eye contact stuff but if it was to be done in ten minutes my topics would fall on tired eyes very quickly. I once did a 10 minute speech on commercial hunting farms. I didn’t know what I was talking about but nobody cared anyway.
Couple of things I find helpful- don’t try and relax. Trying to relax just brings on more anxiety. Accept that you will be anxious up until the minute you are in front of the class. The anxiety about the anxiety is far worse than the actual speaking because you have no control over the time it takes for the speaking event to start, and most of the anxiety is about inability to control time (make it hurry up and be over). Second thing is have a lead-in for each topic point. Once your mind gets the idea that you are doing ok you’ll get into a rhythm and it will be a breeze. Even if you stall or freeze up, just find a re-entry point and carry on. Think about the feeling you will have walking back to your seat having done it, that is a pleasant feeling that you will shortly have.
In one class I told the teacher that his primary method of teaching was substandard and that I wanted an alternative assignment. I got the finger and an F U but he let me do other coursework for the same grade. I got to work alone so I didn’t have to deal with the other “peers" this was high school and sometimes if I played my cards right it worked.
I appreciate that. You are right. The anxiety about the anxiety is the worse part of the anxiety. It’s a silly circle but, sadly, I know it all too well.
Breathe deep, so your stomach expands. Think of something that makes you happy. Stand up straight, don’t let your shoulders roll forward and cut off your air - this will make you feel panicky. Like @engineerguy said, don’t fight your anxiety. Acknowledge it and remind yourself that there’s nothing wrong with being anxious.
We all read the book “the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” for the class and each of us has to do a presentation on a subject related to the book in some way. My talk is on how poverty impacts child abuse and neglect.
I will give you the short version. Poverty is clearly correlated with child abuse and neglect and the more poor a family is, the higher the likelihood of abuse and the more severe the child abuse. IMO people who are not prepared to care for a child in every way, including financially should consider birth control. You should have a child when you are prepared to give to that child in every way not so that you can have someone to love you. Selfish vs selfless.
I remember doing a whole bunch on presentations for my high energy physics group. Sometimes around 5(maybe more) in a semester. After a while you get used to them and they don’t bother you.
Seems like almost a different world now. My days are so different. I need to find a job soon to get rid of this feeling that I have.
But what if poverty isn’t the cause of abuse, what if it is also an effect, just as abuse is. What if the cause is really mental poverty- inability to use the more intellectual capacity of the brain and the result is inability to earn high-income and inability to tell what is abuse and what isn’t. To complete the circle, what if mental poverty is caused by the environment around children which is in turn a product of the mental poverty of the adults around the children in a never-ending cycle.
[developing a solution to this scenario is basically the topic of my greatest delusion so please feel free to ignore the above ]
I am so sorry 47. I seen in another post where you disclosed your age. I didn’t mean to come off as immature. You sound like you are trying to improve your life and the folks you will be giving this speech to probably want to do the same. I think you’ll be okay. I’m sorry.
I appreciate your theory. I am not going to launch into everything my research turned up but if you are curious, I encourage you to research it yourself. I will say, in short, that there are many extenuating circumstances, quite often, with poverty and child abuse. Having said that, they have done studies that have definitively shown that when family income goes up, calls to child protective services goes down. This includes people who have no education and what you would describe as ‘mental poverty’. Children are abused in wealthy families too, it is just that the incidence is much higher in poor families. Even the most unprepared parent; young, no education, abused themselves as a child is less likely to abuse when the stress of poverty is removed. That is all I will really say because I researched it and turned in a 8 page paper on it. Doesn’t make me an expert but I have looked into it.
@engineerguy is right. The worst part is the anticipation; once you get up there and get into it you’ll become more comfortable and just flow with it. The only way to get over the fear of public speaking is to confront it head on. I used to get terribly nervous talking in front of a group like that, but now that I do that a few times a week it’s nothing to me.
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