Got that bad feeling tonight

I can tell my libido is back because I’m starting to get that feeling like the demons are going to attack me when I dont orgasm every day again. It’s not really an easy to describe feeling…it’s like someone nudging you repeatedly and you do your best to ignore it because you know if you acknowledge them the person is going to mentally, sexually and physically abuse you for hours but the nudging is so persistent and annoying and you can’t help but end up engaging just so it stops and you can have some peace once the hell ends.

But I haven’t experienced the hallucinated abuse in a veeeery long time now. Since before I started dating my boyfriend so at least 6 months if not longer. So hopefully I won’t experience it now and this feeling will just pass. The other night it did and nothing happened so that’s good.

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I think we put too much importance on sex in society. Orgasms are great and everything but I think some people end up using it as a way to replace other natural ways to feel good. I think there’s a balance.

The thing is I think orgasms for me release sexual pressure, if I dont get that release and am pent up then my symptoms act up

What I did was focus on controlling my sexual aspect of myself and it just doesn’t bother me anymore. Now it’s more like something I have if I should need it. It’s more of me controlling my sex drive than it is my sex drive controlling me. Everyone’s different though, what works for me may not work for the next person.

That’s only happened to me when meds dulled my sex drive

That’s interesting, I made an active decision to control myself, so for me it was a choice. I still have a sex drive, but right now my focus is just making my life better. Also, it varies based on age.

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