Schizophrenia.com

Got scheduled for vaccine

But my dad is too busy with work to take me to the appointment that I scheduled with my brother’s help and now I’m in tears because stuff is too overwhelming for me.

Take it easy. Can you get a taxi ?

So on the phone he said schedule as early in the day as possible I scheduled 10:40 am and he called later to say he just looked at his laptop he has a meeting at 9am. Then I said well what about another time and he blew up and said “That’s my whole day!” and that my brother and me railroaded him because my parents got their vaccines today they were open to 50 and older in the counties closest to me. But the county that is open for vaccines to 16 and older with comorbidities is 3 hours away. So I thought I would schedule 3 pm, but that cuts into his “Happy Hour Zoom meeting”

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So he purposely made me schedule it at a time only he could possibly manage to mess up.

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Had to cancel it. Now I don’t even want the vaccine. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Man, I’m sorry your dad spoiled your appointment. That was a butthole move on his part.

You deserve to be healthy despite his sour behavior. Does anyone else you know drive? Or is there a bus route you can take?

I can drive. I don’t have a car. I haven’t driven in two years because my dad won’t let me drive or help with access to transportation. I’m hoping with SSI I will be able to get a car and finally just move forward or somewhere. I can’t live like this anymore. No direction, nothing, depending on a dad whose on a breakdown because his business is either tanking or what, my brother said he thinks he is having a midlife crisis, that he was yelling on the phone.

I called and canceled, so whatever. Good they were happy about their vaccines. It just feels like weird, like they were being selfish about it. Maybe I’m paranoid. I just feel this selfish feeling about getting the vaccine and I don’t want it anymore.

They’re trying to get me to take Humira and its an immunosuppressant. My impression is the scientists are conspiring against me getting the vaccine so I can die faster. I spent the entire night reading over my medical files. I have P2P22 which is a duplicate gene that causes CMT1 type A and my nerve endings are shot, it means I don’t produce the membrane tissue that protects nerves, wires, the entire ecosystem of the physical body. I also have sleep apnea acute I breathe at 65% at night. I am morbidly obese. I smoke cigarettes. I have lung damage too. But I’m not even complaining about that I just don’t want the vaccine or Humira. I don’t want to be on a waiting list to die, I don’t want help. I want to leave sometimes…just disappear. My ears ringing non stop. Fatigue when I lay down. It never ends. No one will ever figure out what’s wrong. Brain is constantly on fire, but I’m a psychotic delusional schizophrenic because I was put on all the right anti-depressants. And because I complain too much, guess the world can find a new advertisement for epic failure.

Woah. What a stressful environment to be stuck in. I’m sorry you’re dealing with all that. Family stuff can be really hard.

Your plans to get out of there and find more independence seem like good plans to me. Best of luck with SSI. I hope it helps you to safely get to a more stable place.

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How is it that my dad’s company has anything to do with my future? He’s pushing me to SSI because he simply won’t set aside a penny to save for me. And you can’t save up on SSI, like I don’t understand. I don’t want anything from him, I just want a way somehow to get through this besides being below rock bottom all the time. I have no idea how to generate income. I have never had advice on any life skills to be honest, just terrible. This morning my mom and I were trying to come up with gifts for his birthday, he’s so stingy that when my mom asked him for $60 he made her admit it was for presents for him for his birthday.

I feel awful for how I’ve treated my dad. But I also feel like some of it is deserved. He lies to me all the time. He lied to me when I tried to go to NYC and leave home, and said that if I stay he might start giving me some money to hold onto. He said that if I stayed clean for a year I could get a car and held my addiction over my head. He hasn’t given me anything. I bought this laptop with my $600 stimulus check. I’m worried and I’m useless. I can’t help anyone and I’m constantly talked to like an erratic teenager man life blows.

The entire mood shifted as soon as my brother mentioned me getting a vaccine sooner because this county is only offering it to 50 and up. I don’t know why though. Does the vaccine make people irritable rude hostile?

My brother says it makes no sense I don’t want to get the vaccine anymore dude don’t pressure me. It makes perfect sense to me and the companies have liabilities protections. It seems like since 2020 I’ve just been trying to stay away from needles! I had to be labeled a heroin addict just to realize I’m not. I’m sick of being taken advantage of, and I don’t want to pressured into anything anymore. So over this world at large. F covid19 I’m immune to the 22nd century!