Schizophrenia.com

Got broke up with

It wasn’t even serious or lengthy, we saw each other in person I think three times. She was 12 years younger which was a first for me and a good bit less mature than her 21 years. But still, hadn’t talked to anyone over the phone as long as we did since the 8th grade, but even those girls had twice the maturity. In the weeks leading up to it she was grating on my nerves, didn’t give a damn about anything outside her own interests and had no tact.

Still though, it hurts because other than the acquaintances I see 3 days a week at our little clubhouse, that was it. I mean as for friends there’s a group of aggressively prozylitizing Buddhists who will drive 45 minutes to see me but are only interested in me becoming what they are. They say if you chant all your dreams will magically come true and follow with absolute devotion some Japanese politician. I joined as I couldn’t find anything negative about their cause until I read their literature which is basically all about revering this Japanese guy.

My only other friend is a weed fiend (he goes insane if he can’t find it and gets psychotic eventually when he has it) who lives in his car luckily another 45 minutes away in another direction. I don’t want to see him anymore, all he does is use people. There’s these two girls I knew back in my mid 20’s who I finally met back up with for one of their birthday’s and had an absolute blast, I’ve just heard nothing since and fear there’s some awkwardness about that blast we had.

So…I have no friends. I have my family, who’s acting normal again, To meet them you’d think, what nice people, no, I’ve seen such cruelty in very few others in my life, one of whom was like them and lived a respectable and well off life…when in truth a psychopath. There were two others, lived out of a white Ram van. I was victim to them all.

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