… I finally talked about my abusive exboyfriend. I told him everything, the physical and sexual abuse. I was shaking and my voice was weird but I gathered the strenght to talk about it.
He was great, told me that that exboyfriend was less than trash and that the good thing was that now I have a radar that allows me to not go into that kind of relationship anymore.
And you know what? I am stronger now, I’m still afraid of relationships and I’ll probably be single for a long time since I’m still re-learning how to even take care of myself, but I’m stronger.
It’s possible to overcome that fear, and I’m going to work on my insecurities and learn how to be a better friend for myself and others.
I also spoke about my guilt over my cats going missing and he reassured me it was not my fault, that I should print their pictures and put them on my bedroom so I can grieve and pay homage to them. It will probably be good to do that.
I was in a horrid relationship too early in my life prediagnosis. But it had a heavy effect on my outlook on relationships. I went a long time in between have a good positive supportive relationship. Now the love we share is so enlightening and profound that I consider myself very lucky to have met her. I would just like to share with you that there are very good people out there and healthy positive supportive relationships and love is possible. Thank goodness for good therapists! Have an awesome weekend minnii and good luck in the future!.
Been there too. My son’s dad is an abusive sociopath. I went through a year of individual counseling at a woman’s shelter, and four months of group “Stockholm Syndrome” counseling there. I’m glad you opened up and are working through. You’re going to have the life you want and deserve. I didn’t date for about twelve years (mostly to protect my son) and when I did I looked for someone who had a stable family with happy childhood memories. I guess that worked because my husband is a stable, mellow and very loving ( and very patient) man. I believe you’ll find someone loving now that you’re taking care of yourself.
I was a healer…right? I could heal all his wounds with my love. (There’s a delusion that got kicked right out of me) We are survivors and should be proud of our loving natures. What we were missing before was a love for ourselves. (I still struggle with that, but will never let anyone else abuse me. That’s my job Working on it)
That’s right. I think for me it was more self-destructive behavior than delusions. I was heavily on drugs back then. Quit while I was with him, then got back on them after we broke up.
I don’t even know what got into me, I was such a mess.
I’m sorry you had to experience abuse but I’m glad you’re working through it in therapy. In my late teens, early twenties, I seemed to be a magnet to abusive men. With them it was like being under a spell. Last year I told my story to my therapist for the first time. She said my childhood sexual abuse attracted predators because they could sense my vulnerability. I stayed with them because my body was trying to work out what happened to me as a kid. Sexual assault leaves invisible scars.
Good on you girl! God I wore my boys are mean t shirt for about 3 years.
Do you know what’s good about learning to be happy single?
You’ll always know you are ok on your own.
Lots of women are in bad relationships cause they’re afraid to be single if your in the UK look up the susie project they run women’s groups on domestic abuse.
I didn’t date for about twelve years (mostly to protect my son) and when I did I looked for someone who had a stable family with happy childhood memories. I guess that worked because my husband is a stable, mellow and very loving ( and very patient) man. I believe you’ll find someone loving now that you’re taking care of yourself.
is for your lovely words, not because you went through that.
We are survivors and should be proud of our loving natures. What we were missing before was a love for ourselves. (I still struggle with that, but will never let anyone else abuse me. That’s my job 
Working on it)