Good news:
Liquid IV energy supplement is working and I plan on reducing the amount of monsters I drink by half starting today. It’s still costly but not cost prohibitive and won’t bankrupt me, make me sick, and I might improve 10-20% (optimistically) just by stopping crappy monster drinks (doesn’t matter the brand really).
I’m starting to think “schizophrenia” is 50% being a Monster addict. I don’t know why I let some sugary drink control my life and destroy me and ruin me like this. It’s like crack in a way. It’s really pathetic.
For the past 2 years, I’ve been drinking 10 monster energy drinks every day. 4 in the morning, 4 in the afternoon, and 2 at night. I had to go from 4.5 mg of Vraylar to 6 mg and then finally to 9 mg and then even added an extra 20mg of Latuda.
I’m so tired of it I think the drinks are going to literally kill me or make me permanently a vegetable or permanently psychotic. It’s probably is the reason I never recovered to begin with. I don’t know why I like them. It’s like I ended up autistic or something…with primitive emotions and behaviors.
The bad news:
I’m worried I’ll be harassed or messed with or ruined if I go back to college like I’ll be a TI or get triggered or gang-stalked like at the local private mental hospital in my area. I don’t know. I know this website is basically a joke for privacy and it wasn’t mean to be anonymous or private at all. Anyone thinking otherwise is an idiot.
I just want to get that degree and not be messed with.
Basically, I got abducted by aliens and was messed with OR just in Monarch program at college back in early to mid 2011. I keep resurrecting back in time in a time loop/causal loop. I cannot remember much because it’s like I’m in a permanent time slip like at a different time like from a parallel universe/future back in time TO THE YEAR 2013. I have little to no memory of life and college anymore and they ruined my life. I got no compensation or apology and I thought my life could be in danger.
I have other theories too like I went to outer space or some ■■■■ like SSP and or was a Montauk boy. Something happened to my soul/consciousness and I haven’t ruled out I died and was cloned. That and we live in a simulation that is a billion to one away from my original life/reality. Like iterations or loops. It’s sort of like MWT of QM except it never ends and we live in a simulation on repeat with slight variations in reality for me.
Finally, I never figured out who it was or if it was a group of people. I honestly worry about my safety and life all the time and fear of reprisal.
Honestly, I won’t be going back to that school ever and most likely have to leave the state or go online or avoid all public institutions especially research ones. I’m pretty much screwed.
I blame them for giving me schizophrenia, honestly. Since I’m in a time loop, it’s every life.