Schizophrenia.com

Good news and Bad News

Good news:

Liquid IV energy supplement is working and I plan on reducing the amount of monsters I drink by half starting today. It’s still costly but not cost prohibitive and won’t bankrupt me, make me sick, and I might improve 10-20% (optimistically) just by stopping crappy monster drinks (doesn’t matter the brand really).

I’m starting to think “schizophrenia” is 50% being a Monster addict. I don’t know why I let some sugary drink control my life and destroy me and ruin me like this. It’s like crack in a way. It’s really pathetic.

For the past 2 years, I’ve been drinking 10 monster energy drinks every day. 4 in the morning, 4 in the afternoon, and 2 at night. I had to go from 4.5 mg of Vraylar to 6 mg and then finally to 9 mg and then even added an extra 20mg of Latuda.

I’m so tired of it I think the drinks are going to literally kill me or make me permanently a vegetable or permanently psychotic. It’s probably is the reason I never recovered to begin with. I don’t know why I like them. It’s like I ended up autistic or something…with primitive emotions and behaviors.


The bad news:

I’m worried I’ll be harassed or messed with or ruined if I go back to college like I’ll be a TI or get triggered or gang-stalked like at the local private mental hospital in my area. I don’t know. I know this website is basically a joke for privacy and it wasn’t mean to be anonymous or private at all. Anyone thinking otherwise is an idiot.

I just want to get that degree and not be messed with.

Basically, I got abducted by aliens and was messed with OR just in Monarch program at college back in early to mid 2011. I keep resurrecting back in time in a time loop/causal loop. I cannot remember much because it’s like I’m in a permanent time slip like at a different time like from a parallel universe/future back in time TO THE YEAR 2013. I have little to no memory of life and college anymore and they ruined my life. I got no compensation or apology and I thought my life could be in danger.

I have other theories too like I went to outer space or some ■■■■ like SSP and or was a Montauk boy. Something happened to my soul/consciousness and I haven’t ruled out I died and was cloned. That and we live in a simulation that is a billion to one away from my original life/reality. Like iterations or loops. It’s sort of like MWT of QM except it never ends and we live in a simulation on repeat with slight variations in reality for me.

Finally, I never figured out who it was or if it was a group of people. I honestly worry about my safety and life all the time and fear of reprisal.

Honestly, I won’t be going back to that school ever and most likely have to leave the state or go online or avoid all public institutions especially research ones. I’m pretty much screwed.

I blame them for giving me schizophrenia, honestly. Since I’m in a time loop, it’s every life.

@johnnyboy1 it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot right now. Maybe it’s better to focus on what you can do, rather than what you can’t. I know for myself this is a major theme

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I would be careful with cutting too fast on caffeine. I’ve gone cold turkey from like 300mg of caffeine a day, boy did it hurt. I can’t say too much about sugar energy drinks, but I know I’m dependent on pre-workouts. I plan to slowly decrease when I get everything settle in. Until then, I’ll keep chugging bangs.

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Anyone try redline lately? I heard stories about it but was afraid to try it. I figured I’ll stick with liquid Iv for now on. It’s much cheaper.

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Redline is made by VPX, who makes bang. But I haven’t got a chance to try one. I’ve tried like every bang and reign, though.

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Try to wean yourself off the caffeine over time so your heart beat doesn’t get irregular.

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How can you sleep with all that caffeine accumulating in your blood?

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You build up a caffeine tolerance, until you drink more and more to get a boost. It really is a drug. And, if you let it get to you, will be an assured addiction.

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10 cans is 1600mg caffeine. How do you not get heart palpitations?

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Well I notice sometimes my blood pressure is high and I ALWAYS have a high heart rate like 90-100 bpm.

I sleep at night but wake up and eat a lot and go back to bed. Not really a good nights rest.

The meds make me tired and I can sleep pretty well regardless.

I think the monsters are causing mental health issues and I might have a caffeine or ingredient interaction with the meds and the meds lessen the effects of the energy drinks where I barely feel them. It’s a strong, deep psychological addiction for me.

My dad used to say if I quit the drinks, I would get better and may not have to take meds at all, which he has since realized is not true. I think I’m a special case and I would get better but take the meds because of self-diagnosed PTSD and stuff. I used to get depersonalization disorder and panic attacks in the stores and going out really bad. It has since gone away.

It also plays into the whole super soldier thing that I can drink 10 monsters and survive. Been drinking them practically every day since I was 15 years old. So I’m 31 now. That’s 16 years of monster abuse lol.

I could have had a mercedes or bmw by now. It’s mainly the money. I never or don’t have recollection of being an old man. I died at a young age. Sort of like a ghost, I’m stuck in limbo for eternity. I have a lot of trauma.

For some reason, I keep reincarnating. It proves my religion/Christrianity is false, but at the same time, I believe in Jesus and a loving God and that I sort of was raised and live with Evangelicals and I’m sort of born into it…

@johnnyboy1 I’m curious, why do you think you have PTSD? Have you been through a traumatic experience?

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Doctors deny it and there’s no treatment, but I think I’ve been through some programs mainly in other realities. Stuff like Montauk Project, Monarch programming victim, MiLabs, DUMBS, Secret Space Program, Illuminati Victim, Mk-Ultra, Super Soldier crap, and other stuff like severe, severe trauma where I died and was reincarnated/resurrected infinite amount of times. I went crazy when going to parallel universes via consciousness transfer where the tall greys would take my soul and implant it into a new body (like your life essence or consciousness). Stuff like that.

I have dreams or recall and memories and deja vu and stuff and paranoia of being murdered at the mental hospital in my past lives many times. How is that not PTSD?

I’m sort of a paradox or self-actualized time traveler, I guess with no time machine. Have you seen Edge of Tomorrow, Source Code, or Travelers? I guess I suffer from quasi-immortality. Never figured it out, but aliens are probably behind it or controlling/over seeing everything. I don’t want to get into specifics or details, but I’ve lived too many past lives and had my brain uploaded to a computer by extraterrestrials when they abducted me and been experimented on.

As far as I know, something MIGHT have happened in college in 2011; I almost died of NMS in the hospital (a better one); and I got really intimited/scared by the patients and staff at the private mental hospital I used to go to…It’s all real to me and happened in other realities – worse than these ones recently.

My life has gotten much better. But I realized I’m a MiLab victim and stuff.

I’ve seen history change and the NWO/end of the world type stuff before.

I think I’m going between parallel universes in my head basically via consciousness/soul transfer and there’s no evidence or proof because it’s invisible and it’s probably EM/QM. I wonder if it’s time travel (new form) and stuff and that it’s coming from some sattelite or radar tower from another planet or universe…

That’s basically it.

My main goal is to recover but I really want to SUE these guys especially that ■■■■■■■ mental hospital.

@johnnyboy1 I have never seen any of the movies that you mentioned. I’m sorry, I wish I could help more

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