Good idea or no?

I was sexually assaulted a little over a year ago, and ever since then, I’ve thought the guy who did it has been stalking me, bugged my house, has a tracker in my body, and a network of spies watching me. I have no evidence for this other than my own thoughts, which I know aren’t the most reliable. Someone close to me recently suggested that I contact the guy and try to “get some closure,” and make this “delusion” go away.

Due to the nature of the assault (we were both on drugs), no one thinks he’s dangerous or a predator, and most people deny that it was actually even an assault, even though I was there and I know that’s what happened.

Do you think it’s worth trying to contact him to get this delusion to go away, or should I just live with the delusion? I don’t even know what I would say to him that won’t sound completely crazy.

I would suggest counselling and maybe talking to the police about prosecuting your rapist. I think those are better ideas than calling him. Good luck.

No I would not advise contacting him.

I would advise therapy to help you work through the trauma.

And only if you felt up to it, pressing charges.

I don’t think contacting your person will make the delusions go away. They might even become stronger. You better consider how to deal with the delusions. You will have to meet other men besides him. You might want to get married and even have children at some point. Have you thought about whether you are developing paranoid schizophrenia? Have you thought about finding a psychiatrist?

Thanks for your response. I do have a psychiatrist, and she’s given me a “working diagnosis” of schizoaffective disorder, not paranoid schizophrenia, though I suppose that’s certainly a possibility. I thought about it all night last night, and I think contacting him would be a really bad idea. I don’t really know what I was thinking.

yeah bad idea, one of the people in my group was assaulted three years ago (she was on heavy meds and couldn’t even say yes or no because of it) and she said a couple months ago that she was forced to talk to him by her shrink to help her ‘over come the trauma’ and all it did was send her into a psychosis. Thankfully she has since found a new shrink. Whats sad is she is only 17, was 14 at the time and her attacker was her own in home care worker hired by her parents, and no one believed her until she tested positive for an STI six months after the fact. Yet another reason I hate human beings, finding that to be the case more and more lately, but that’s another subject.

hi, I was raped and abused by a close high school friend in my 20’s and then I stayed with him out of shock, shame, and denial. I eventually ripped myself away, but I eventually came back a year later to ask him some questions about why he had done what he had done to me.

He wrote a long message to me, stating that I enjoyed it, that it was just BDSM, that I liked it rough…that I didn’t fight hard enough (yeah, he said that last one)…all kinds of stuff. As a criminal and sex predator, he just wanted to protect himself and ensure I wouldn’t go to the police. I learned nothing from messaging him “why” and instead I was sent into a PTSD mess of paranoia, wrath, a near relapse of sz (he was sending people to kill me in my sleep, according to me), and persecution delusions. After communicating with him, I was hostile with people and angry. It made me worse.

I am afraid if you contact him, he will justify what he did with the usual bs victim-blaming sex predators do. This would be extremely stressful. Also, what if he feeds your delusion instead of breaking it?

Please be safe!