Good Beginnings

Lounge
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I am doing a lot better.
Just some resentment of my illness and the dumb/stupid stuff that happen thru everyday life that I have moments of doubt. I think things will change on this new injection.

Today I talked to myself a little bit again - not sure. It could be a part of my illness too.
I will see the neurologist tomorrow.

I just feel like - I am not good enough most of the time. I can not even do a stupid job that I have the skills for. I lack in the social department - I can not follow clues and understand and relate to people around me.

The other day I told the guy I liked that I had erotomania and I just feel humiliated. I shouldn’t tell people this stuff.

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Hey I’ve had erotomania before. Yeah just learn from your mistakes no big deal. Keep trying. How’s your job search coming along? Mine is just starting again after I didn’t get a job I thought that I had in the bank.

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I wonder whether I should tell people I have schizophrenia. I think alot of married people won’t admit they have erotomania.

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I don’t know how it was triggered. First time - I didn’t like the guy but was attracted to him.

second time - I was psychotic and his words got the best of me. I was high for a while.

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I don’t think I will work for anyone for now - Until I become stable and stop being socially awkward and just have a good behaviour.