I have a friend who moved to a different country. She and I had been writing letters to each other regularly until maybe 2 weeks ago. I thought it was fun at first. But, long story short, I found out that she has not been throwing away the letters I had been writing her (she has been saving them).
I am feeling so weird about this. I feel like she is conspiring something bad against me and will use the saved letters to do this. I feel worried that she is going to do something to me. I can’t shake these thoughts and I don’t want to write any more letters. She continues to send me them, and they sit unopened.
What should I do?
first of all…open the letters for crying out loud.
I am worried to open any letters
I just don’t see myself as being able to do this anymore with her. I don’t know how to “bow out” without her using the letters against me in a worse way.
Consider the idea that not throwing away the letters might not have anything to do with you.
I have a hard time throwing away cards and letters from anyone myself. Even Christmas cards that come every year.
Some people are hoarders. Some people are sentimental. I also think letter writing has gone somewhat out of fashion and I would probably keep a thoughtful handwritten letter myself, should someone send one.
I also know about paranoia and can empathize with you there.
Just be open to the idea that it might not be the worst you can imagine.
what if she’s begging you to be with you or something like that? urgently writing letters reminds me of the time in “the color purple” where the dad was hiding letters from her sister when she lived in his house…she found all of them.
It maybe just your imagination and nothing worse will happen maybe. We need to be worried only when content is something not right or suspicious. If you have content of letter to not worry about then no need.
This is the normal way to communicate via letters. If you are in a place where you can’t communicate in writing because of paranoia, you can try to set up phone calls or something. But most people who write letters save the ones they receive. I still have letters my friends wrote me when I was 10. I have them all in a little box. When my uncle died a while back, we were cleaning his house and there were multiple boxes of letters organized by sender. It is a common and expected thing.