Schizophrenia.com

Getting it off my chest

Awhile back about 4 years ago, I was in a fight and resentment from the other guy got me stabbed because he was involved in a gang and I had a hit out on me. Luckily, thanks to not being in the dark ages and now with modern medicine I can take a breath of life today. I try to forgive and forget. I don’t know who the dude was so I gave up looking for him as the fbi was looking for him to because he is wanted for homicide or stabbing others. I visualise myself every now and then that I am healthy and well meeting him face to face again. He would not recognise me because it’s been so long. I visualise me hurting him and whispering in his ear as the life slips from him when I take it. I whisper something that.will cause his heart to sink into despair as he breaths his last breaths.
I try to think forgiveness but my own anger brings me to visualise the pain I would like to indefinately inflict on this fellow man. It"s a passion that will go away only when I dont think about it

I guess for guys it gets more violent. I have resentment but i would never hurt someone with a knife just words and wish they’d regret. It sounds stupid and silly. You can let it go, you’re healthy, happy, and you have your whole life ahead of you. If people know better they’d do better. Don’t sink to his level

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Thanks waterway, I gave up looking for him but sometimes I end up in the same neighborhood that I know this same joker is probably at. Ive had anger outbursts but not in awhile and thankfully never hurt anyone to that degree or commited anything like that.

Violence is definately learned to a degree because I did’t start having cold blooded thoughts until committing cold blooded ass woopings for survival ofcourse at the time when I was at my lowest in my life in terms of financially and also pretty mich everything else.

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I should’ve named this topic V for Vendetta, lmao.

I also when I think about sticking the mother ■■■■■■, I can visualise myself saying piyaaaaaaa, like dave chappelle from this scit.

The original is more like a ryyyyahhhhhhhhhhh…

Chapelle man… that was a ■■■■■■■ great time back when that was on TV

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I wouldn’t get in any feuds with gang members. If you do beat one of them you have to fight the whole gang. However, I also have fantasies of extreme violence against these guys who rape other guys in prison. I want to make them profoundly regret what they did.

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I think you should count yourself very lucky and move on.

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keep this in mind.

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You cant force forgiveness-it just somehow comes to you. Write your thoughts down when theyre strong. That`s a powerful thing. Talking here will also help.

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You get that mind cleaned up yet @Kenforce?

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still working on that at the moment.

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