Earlier today I recorded a video about my experience during a psychotic break last year, and while I was talking about my time in the hospital, I realized that I hallucinated a person who was in the hospital with me. Now I cant stop thinking about him and I’m imagining him coming through my door. I am very frightened.

I’m not sure, but I think fear can be addictive. The amygdala centre in the brain modulates between fear and pleasure as a means of deciding what activities to commit to. I don’t know if that is a helpful thing to say, but I have often wondered if I haven’t built up a sort of addiction to relapsing, because of disfunction of the amygdala, being fearful of things that aren’t there in order to modulate between pleasure. It’s not a theory I’ve read anywhere, but you can look up the amygdala and see whether I’ve described it accurately.

The famous rope bridge experiment by Dutton and Aaron (1974) suggests a strong connection between fear and pleasure.

Dutton and Aaron (1974) had a woman collect answers to a survey on a rope suspension bridge over a ravine, and on a concrete bridge over the same. The male participants were told they could phone the woman to ask questions, if they had any, and were given a phone number. The number of participants phoning the woman later were greater when they had been asked the survey on the rope suspension bridge. It was argued that the fear that they felt on the rope bridge was mistaken for attraction towards the woman.

Usually they dope you up too much not sure the problem here. Hope you’re better.

The best thing about hallucinations is that, no matter how frightening they seem, they can’t actually hurt you.
I’ve been on the floor sobbing with fear and dread because of my companion angel. “He” can be terrifying. But “his” power diminished significantly when I realized that “he” never hurt me. I always hurt myself.
Hallucinations have no physical ability to hurt us.
Don’t hurt yourself because of them.

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hang tight , storms often lead to peace