Four years ago I had a psychotic break and was immediately diagnosed with schizophrenia. I have been ok since then. No further symptoms.
But sometimes I feel off. Like the past two days have been weird.
Extreme irritability and anger. Just because my grandmother instructed me to do something for her. The problem is she keeps asking me to do stuff for her. I have no control over my anger with her. I have no problem with other people especially strangers. Its just family members.
My grandmother is depressed constantly talks about why god won’t take her, and I just told my mum sometimes I wish she was dead like she wants to be. I can’t believe I said that for the first time today. Hypocritical of me considering I have serious mental illness myself. And I can’t stop crying.
Is this a psychotic episode?
I also have problems making decisions and concentration is poor. I feel so tired and exhaused from all this crying.
Based on what your telling here… It sounds more like an emotional swing. Your lucid and your not seeing things that aren’t there or hearing stuff that is impossible. I hate myself a bit when I get angry at family for simple request. I’ve driven half way across the state for ungrateful strangers, yet I don’t want to go half way across the room for family who has stood by my side.
When I get like this, I usually take a long bath or a good work out, long walk will tire me out enough to calm down. Have you been sort of cooped up lately due to bad weather? You could be going through same seasonal affective disorder… just a little lack of energy, irritable and off due to no sun.
just hang in there and I really feel you will be better soon, let the crying spells pass on their own time, just remember you are important and a good person. it sounds like some emotional swing that if you catch in time can probably be resolved healthfully. reach out, like you did on this website, to others, and try to get the help you need. do you have a dr. or therapist you can talk to? peace to you!!
Nope its not a psychotic episode…im a psych major and I’ve had plenty of episodes, so I know that it isnt. It’s some sort of mood swing. Maybe even withing the normal range of human emotions, to be honest. You’re not having unrealistic ideas or overreactions in my opinion. Are you diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in particular? Unfortunately, we are known to be the most violent/aggressive ones…I wrote a paper on this last semester for my abnormal psych class, and we are the ones who end up having violent behaviors, it’s usually due to a case of paranoid schizophrenia with low negative symptoms, high positive symptoms and substance abuse is the real kicker…a stat from my research was that a paranoid schizophrenic who is abusing a substance is 3x more likely to be violent than a normal person…so dont get high or drunk, it often makes paranoid schizophrenics lose self control and act out on delusions. There was a book written by a lawyer who had a psychotic break and killed two random people…it’s good to hear that you have insight.
But thats a little besides my point. It’s normal to have days where you feel “edgy” if you have paranoid schizophrenia. Excess cortisol, delusions of persecution coupled with hallucinations of persecution make for one pissed off monkey. Just keep aware of yourself and be aware of your emotions, that will keep you from getting yourself in trouble. Try constructive outlets for aggression if you are really bothered…I used to lift weights and box on my punching bags almost every single day, but now that I am on meds, I have to take preworkout supplements to even think about working out…meds are sedating, and to be honest I have come to enjoy being sedated, its a nice change of pace from being agitated 24/7.
Hope that helps…I am in remission, like you, but I have only been in remission for about 6 months. What you described just plainly isnt psychotic, if that answers your question. It’s actually pretty normal for paranoid schizophrenics to have short fuses, that’s why it’s best to be aware of how short your fuse is. Even with medication and treatment, our brains are wired to be in “fight or flight” mode more often than not, and I say this because medication treats schizophrenia, it never cures it. There’s a big difference. That’s the grim reality of our illness, but insight, like you have, is the best thing for it. The fact that you are aware of getting angry/sad quickly is a good thing…
Yes, I have paranoid schizophrenia. Initially diagnosed undifferentiated schizophrenia. And one time with schizoaffective but I don’t see that dr at all. I only saw him once. I do not get angry very often. It really takes a lot to set me off. That is why I came here because it is not my usual behavior. I have never actually tried drugs, and have only drunk alcohol three times in my life. I am almost 29. I am also not a violent person.
It’s like we’re related… I also don’t get angry often and anger does throw me a bit more then other things. Not my nature. It taste like bitter orange peels. I’m 28. I’ve had a lot of labels on my file too.
I have schizoaffective disorder formally paranoid schizophrenia than before that psychotic disorder NOS with borderline personality disorder. This kind of sounds like what i go through, when people are upset i usually get angry at them i can’t help it i try to control it.