Schizophrenia.com

Forgiveness / Parents

Do we need to forgive our parents about things they do wrong?
What is the limits?

  • We must forgive our parents
  • We can’t always forgive our parents
  • We should forgive almost everything

0 voters

1 Like

Parents are very important, we should forgive them with everything except rape, murder and severe violence. I would stay away if they steal and do drugs too. For everything else you should really forgive them. We only have one mother and one father.

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It depends on the trouble. Some stuff is unforgivable. Emotional abuse is pretty bad, but perfect parenting is pretty hard to find. Parents are pretty much guaranteed to screw their kids up in some manner.

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Yup. Honestly kind of hoping my mom is being spit-roasted in hell right now.

I say forgive as there are few other people in your life who will show the same level of support.

I have issues with my step fathers drinking and behaviour, but he’s a good person when it comes down to it. All our clashes growing up were nobodies fault. He just did not know how to act and I have to accept that I did not either

Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody.
It’s a judgement call. When you’re raising kids there’s a million ways to go wrong. Some things are excusable, some aren’t.
Molestation, violence, rape, mental abuse. Those are some of the big ones. Those wreck childhoods and the lasting effects carry on into adulthood. Those are deal breakers, a parent cruel enough to do those things does not deserve to be forgiven. Yelling, arguments, being too strict, forcing you to do chores and clean your room etc. those are natural things to fight about and are forgivable. Like I said it’s a judgement call. My parents probably screwed me up bad, but the good they did for me, far outweighed the bad. And since I’m 59 I can’t blame them for everything that goes wrong in my life, it’s up to me to change the things I don’t like about myself and take responsibility and play the cards I’ve been dealt.

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All I can say @Greenmind is that once your parents have passed away and are gone. They are gone for good. You will never be able to ask them questions that they have answers to. You can never get mad at them and expect a reaction or be happy with them again. Your parents were joyful when you were conceived. Your parents forgave you for the wrong that you do so forgiving should be mutual.

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Yes, good points, I totally agree with everything’s in @observer’s answer. Both my parents are gone and I often think of things I’d like to ask them or things I’d like to tell them even 13 years later. Good things.

My dad tried to help me and he did an admirible job but so much he told me about life I let go in one ear and out the other. Now, if he was alive, I would sure pay attention and listen harder.

He was born in 1930. When you grow up during the Great Depression, WWII, serve in the Korean War, hit every bar in central Califorina, travel all over the world and get married and raise three children, you tend to pick up a little knowledge about the world along the way.

Anyways, my mom was cool in her own way, and taught us children a lot and whenever I visited her home where she lived with my step-dad it was always a comfortable safe haven, a place to relax and a good place to talk.

But yeah, I can’t say anything bad about either of them. They may not have been saints but they were pretty close in my book and helped me for almost 30 years. I wouldn’t be alive today with them and I miss them and I can forgive them the mistakes they made.

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Doesn’t it depend on what they have done? Whether or not you forgive them? Some things are more serious than others.

My mom was mentally ill. Definitely bipolar, she was diagnosed. Probably also schizoaffective based on her behavior and hindsight.

She did a lot of stuff that unmedicated mentally ill people do. Caused me a lot of trauma. Still, I wanted to forgive her because I reached a point in my life where I was making peace with my past.

Sadly, she slipped into a coma and died of septicemia before I could. I still feel sad over that at times.

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