I had a great chat with some folks from the sz.com discord. We had a great time, and we talked for a while.
When I came out of my room, my mom looked at me with a stern face and said, “Come here.” I came near her feeling scared. Then, my mom said “I heard everything you just said. Why do you want to talk about your illness?” At that moment, I just froze still.
“I didn’t talk about my illness.” I said to her. She told me that she heard everything and told me to stop lying. My brother chimed in and asked a few more questions about who I was talking to. I tried to tell them that they are my “gaming friends” and we all had “struggles” to talk about. Basically, I lied about everyone in that vc room having schizophrenia or some psychotic disorder.
She told me to never do it again. If she catches me talkint about MI or my physical disability, she will forbid me from talking to anyone. She told me that “illness is nothing to be proud of” and that “no one wants to listen to your problems”. She was worried that people in that vc room are going to make fun of me because I have sz/MD and no one is going to take me seriously. She also told me that it’s “shameful”.
My mom doesn’t know that I am part of an online forum for people with sz. She doesn’t like me interacting with other people with sz. My body is also failing and no one is listening to my cries at home. I feel completely alone and I want to keep being on this Discord. I just hope that the Heavens would have mercy on me. I’m really paranoid and shaking as I type this, and I am worried that my identity is going to be stolen while I type this. I am so so worried that my mom will find out that I am a member here.