In advance let me say that I’ve always preferred solitude, even in kindergarten. I’ve had friends before but I was obviously not very good at interacting with others and I had issues with forming and maintaining close relationships - anxiety, distrust, etc. I also don’t feel loneliness. In my case, as in some cases of autism, it may be more than simply just a matter of reduced function of some receptor in some specific area of the brain. Needless to say, I’ve yet to see a person with a low iq have ‘good’ days where their iq is 120 instead of 70–the point being that once your brain is damaged, it doesn’t magically change for the better one day, yet I have very rare days where I suddenly feel a desire for other people, feel loneliness, suddenly everything is like one would expect that it should be.
For those of you without any friends who also completely lack a social desire, what medication changed this for you? Risperidone made me more social but in a weird, unnatural way. I have yet to find out what receptor/neurotransmitter has to do with lack of social desire. I’ve also yet to find out risperidone’s mechanism of action for this effect though I’m absolutely certain that it’s at least not dopamine, could be adrenergic and serotonergic - most likely is serotonergic.
I was always kinda a loner by nature. I still almost always had friends though. The biggest thing making me anti-social now is that I don’t have a job. So I don’t want to go out and do anything because I want to conserve money. Of course the only social thing I think I would do is play some friday night magic. A lot of social activities don’t seem to feel good to me. Clubbing doesn’t feel good and I don’t drink. I don’t enjoy sports so I don’t do that either.
By feeling loneliness I mean the feeling that you are alone, not necessarily in a negative way. It’s the opposite of feeling that you are in a room with someone. I don’t ever feel alone, it’s rather bizarre. It’s like I’m together with myself, me and myself
I laugh at my own jokes, converse with myself (not schizophrenia, just… odd behavior)
I was never good at relationships, when I get ill, I push people away, hide out alone, probably appears to them I don’t like them. I like being alone, but in my perfect world, I would like a gal that just likes a one on one relationship and a home body.
30 years or so ago decided after a break up I never wanted to make the trip back to being alone, rather just stay there. I knew I would always fail at a relationship and I kept the promise to myself.
A doctor made a mistake and burned my head when I was 10 months old. I have never wanted to be seen because I have never been able to deal with the injury. It is painful to me. I deal with people because I have to, not because I want to. No medication can have the strength to subdue the violence of that injury.
I guess I am a mix of autism and schizotypy (schizophrenic “spectrum”). People with autism hate the very thing of being social, hate social personalities - that’s me. I think clubbing is for effeminate types - no offense to anyone. On the other hand I have the schizotypal pseudohallucinations, so I guess you could call it schizotypaltism - a new disease? I’m the first subject to be spotted with this bizarre mix.
