For father's day... pondering

When I was growing up… It felt like my Dad wasn’t home a lot… he worked his butt off… so my Mom could be on part time and take care of me and the other kids…

then when I was in my 20’s and in and out of hospitals and angry and crumbling… it was my Mom who was the iron lady and the mover and shaker. My Dad was very passive and quiet.

I used to think he either didn’t like me… or I disappointed him because he was so quiet.

While my Mom as verbally skewering a snotty nurse… my Dad was the one sitting with me just hanging out and letting me rock and rant. I didn’t really think of all the times he was there… just quietly hanging out.

Or all the times he would visit me in hospital… or how he was able to calm Mom down about a lot of issues.

But I’ve gotten to know him better now… I’ve mistook his quiet nature as dislike or judgment… when really… I see now… Mom’s the Fire…and Dad’s the Water.

I’m in a much better friendship with him now… I’m glad I’ve had a chance to see that just because he was calm and easy going… doesn’t mean he was weak and uncaring.


My Dad is like Spock and my Mom is Mary Poppins…

My whole life I haven’t decided whether or not I want to open my own technical business, or write a song and dance play!! lol!

They’re only fault is they loved me too much. I truly believe I won the ‘parent lottery’ despite my Sz and all that it accompanies. I really love both of them to pieces and always will.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY POP!!! :slight_smile:


I love that phrase… yes… the parent lottery.

I’m the oldest of 5. I have NO idea how they made it all work.

I’ve said that I got dealt the bum hand in genetics… but the winning hand in family.

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My parents are the opposite - My father is fire, my mom is the water - they both care and were with me every step!

Happy Father’s Day pops! You are the best!


Im a spaniard and i come from a lineage of pirates, srs

I love my dad. I bought him a cake for Father’s day.


I always thought my dad was cool as I was growing up but I didn’t learn how really cool he was until I got sick when I was 19. When I was living in my first group home and suffering with psychosis and I felt like giving up every day he would drive across town to visit me and we would have long talks about everything under the sun including delusions, life, his life, power, sex, the world, suicide, etc. I especially liked his stories about his life.

Like @SurprisedJ said about his father, my dad was gone at work a lot when I was growing up. And my dad was also passive and quiet. And he told me he hated confrontations. But I realized when I was 19 or 20 that he had hid his true self from us kids. Not in a dishonest, deceitful, sneaky way at all. He hid his life to protect us and give us a good peaceful upbringing. Because, boy, he grew up as rough, tough, violent, hard drinking, girl chasing, person.

But he wasn’t a thug or a punk or anything like that. Him and his friends modeled themselves after people like John Wayne. When they had disagreements they duked it out after school, man to man. They didn’t steal or con or try to be sly. They were direct and straightforward.

They grew up in the gold country of Central California near Sacramento and they frequented the bars and cathouses and backstreets. I’m six feet tall but my dad was only 5’9" and small. But what he lacked in size he made up for in his horrific temper. He could hold his temper but if you pushed him too far you would face his scary wrath.

And people were scared of him. He got in fights and cussed people out when they deserved it. He fought grown men. But I never saw this side of him until he divorced my mom and moved in with his future second wife and he could be himself. Then I saw him holding his own with just about any other man.

But he wasn’t just all about violence. He was loyal, kind, compassionate, funny, SMART. But on the other hand he wasn’t perfect and he could be mean, sarcastic; and when he was drunk, he could make a fool out of himself. But man, he saved my life a hundred times over and until he died six years ago he was my biggest support and never gave up on me. He stuck by me through crises, hospitalizations, my crack addiction etc.

I’m sure that everybody who answered this thread or is reading this could easily write a few pages on their dads. And I’m not the only person with a good father who they admired. But my dad was unique in many ways. He’d been around the block a few times and traveled often and he often told me that no one was better than him. I wish he was still alive so I could wish him a happy fathers day.

You guys wrote some good things about your fathers. For those of you whose fathers are still alive you should consider yourselves lucky and I envy you. Good luck to you all today.


after my Dad had his heart attack… he got put on blood thinners and other meds…

I have an Aunt who is a bit overly opinioned about stuff she knows nothing about.

Her catch phrase is… “you know what you should do…”

She was rambling on about my meds… “are you sure they are working the way they should?.. Are you sure you need so many? you know what you should do?”

My Dad had enough… he told her… “You know what YOU should do… leave him alone.”

then my Dad explained that if he didn’t take his meds… he’d have a heart attack… if I don’t take mine… I’ll have a head attack.

My Aunt was speechless… it was a miracle. :smiley:

I really appreciated my Dad for that.

It also helped me a lot to see that my Dad resents his meds as much as I resent mine… but for now… it’s the best situation possible.