I always thought my dad was cool as I was growing up but I didn’t learn how really cool he was until I got sick when I was 19. When I was living in my first group home and suffering with psychosis and I felt like giving up every day he would drive across town to visit me and we would have long talks about everything under the sun including delusions, life, his life, power, sex, the world, suicide, etc. I especially liked his stories about his life.
Like @SurprisedJ said about his father, my dad was gone at work a lot when I was growing up. And my dad was also passive and quiet. And he told me he hated confrontations. But I realized when I was 19 or 20 that he had hid his true self from us kids. Not in a dishonest, deceitful, sneaky way at all. He hid his life to protect us and give us a good peaceful upbringing. Because, boy, he grew up as rough, tough, violent, hard drinking, girl chasing, person.
But he wasn’t a thug or a punk or anything like that. Him and his friends modeled themselves after people like John Wayne. When they had disagreements they duked it out after school, man to man. They didn’t steal or con or try to be sly. They were direct and straightforward.
They grew up in the gold country of Central California near Sacramento and they frequented the bars and cathouses and backstreets. I’m six feet tall but my dad was only 5’9" and small. But what he lacked in size he made up for in his horrific temper. He could hold his temper but if you pushed him too far you would face his scary wrath.
And people were scared of him. He got in fights and cussed people out when they deserved it. He fought grown men. But I never saw this side of him until he divorced my mom and moved in with his future second wife and he could be himself. Then I saw him holding his own with just about any other man.
But he wasn’t just all about violence. He was loyal, kind, compassionate, funny, SMART. But on the other hand he wasn’t perfect and he could be mean, sarcastic; and when he was drunk, he could make a fool out of himself. But man, he saved my life a hundred times over and until he died six years ago he was my biggest support and never gave up on me. He stuck by me through crises, hospitalizations, my crack addiction etc.
I’m sure that everybody who answered this thread or is reading this could easily write a few pages on their dads. And I’m not the only person with a good father who they admired. But my dad was unique in many ways. He’d been around the block a few times and traveled often and he often told me that no one was better than him. I wish he was still alive so I could wish him a happy fathers day.
You guys wrote some good things about your fathers. For those of you whose fathers are still alive you should consider yourselves lucky and I envy you. Good luck to you all today.
