It seems like a lot of us are struggling recently. I’m so sorry you are in pain. Mental illness is perhaps one of the hardest struggles to deal with as it effects every aspect of your life and worse yet your perspective. If you’re in pain you’re going to see the world as a dark and hopeless place. Let me reassure you, it does get better. It may take some fighting, well ok, a lot of fighting. But your life is worth fighting for. When meds don’t work and all seems hopeless don’t give up. ECT was given to me as a last resort and it changed my life. I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but for me it turned my life around. If you’re struggling, call your doctor. If your doctor isn’t helping, get a second opinion. I’m a Buddhist and chant the Lotus Sutra which really helps me. A quote that has gotten me through dark times is “Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is like the roar of a lion, what illness can therefore be an obstacle.” Don’t lose hope! Know that I care.
I have a GP doctor appointment today. There going to weigh me. Why did I eat all that cheesecake for my birthday. Then I volunteered at the California State Fair and ate all that cinnamon bun with cream cheese frosting and walnuts. I know I’ll think thin. Why is my weight always a struggle? Well, the stuff was yummy anyways.
Good luck at your appointment! I know the struggles with weight. I’ve been overweight my whole life and gained even more on these meds. It’s a miracle I don’t have diabetes with having so many risk factors for it. Don’t beat yourself up for it though. Something I learned from my nutritionist is when you get cravings for specific foods journal what memories that food brings up and what emotions are hiding behind it. It’s amazing to learn the true purpose that food is serving. Good luck!
I’d like to try ECT, but I’m afraid I can’t afford it. There are things about my mental illness that wear me out. I need some relief.
I have Medicare and Medicaid and it’s 100% covered. It was a little more initially because I was having the first twelve treatments in the hospital as I was going three times a week. It really works though! If you do decide to get it, talk with the anesthesiologist and ask if they can give you a higher dose of anesthesia. They didn’t give me enough and I woke up after the treatment, paralyzed from the muscle relaxer. Because I couldn’t control my breathing, I thought I couldn’t breathe. From this happening I have some PTSD and have a really hard time going. I’m sure this is rare, and I don’t mean to scare you. But I got major relief from it. It also helps the meds be more effective so I can be on a lower dose of them. Talk to your pdoc. Good luck!
thank you for this thread sungirl,
I think those who have these feelings of not wanting to live all need to seek help immediately and don’t waste another hour trying to deal with your pain all by yourself, the hospitals are your friends, they only want you to feel better…I know how bad it can be without hope, I sought God and discovered that it is not my business knowing what God has in store for us…since that time of wanting to die came a new hope when I got my meds changed to something that I could have no side affects and instantly I started being happy again…seek help, you have to, you just have to…
Very well said, jukebox