For all the schizophrenic men, how many girlfriends have you had?

Yeah, I kind of know a little bit of this topic. Posture, stance, the position of arms, open hands etc… are more telling signs of a person’s expression of communication than just the words which are spoken.

Superb and excellent tip about being upfront in the beginning. This disease is a hinderance of mine when it comes to disclosing it to another person who has no idea what this disease is. Congrats on the marriage going well thus far.

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Well, I was more referring to women you would consider a “girlfriend” after being diagnosed with schizophrenia. I assume that during elementary and highschool that your mind was sane and still maturing. This youthful age is not the same when you are considered an adult.

I’ve only had two steady girlfriends in my life. The third after them was a simple hook up where the woman ended up getting kinda obsessed with me.

This was all pre sz.

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Honestly I sucked at dating but my friends and brothers helped me by sometimes helping me in what to say and what to txt her. The apathy got worse when I got sz and I became boring to her she told me. At first I had the energy to bring her shopping, go to the cinema, restaurants, bars with her friends, etc but once I got sz and was put on AP I lost all that energy, since then I never wanted to hangout not even with my or her friends. I just visited her and replied to her texts every few weeks. The relationship gradually faded and died after I got sz. She told me that I changed and I am not the same person she first met, she said I became boring to her.

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You hit the nail on the head. I’ve only dated one girl steady since I was diagnosed.

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That’s a good story though about your pre-schizophrenia diagnosis. Yeah, I would say pre-schizophrenia that I was quite normal with relationships too. It’s the post-schizophrenic diagnosis that is the problem.

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Wow, you dated a girl post-schizophrenic diagnosis. That’s better than me where I only talked to women and never got a date or phone number.

I think all these are my current negative symptoms. I can barely stay awake and get out of bed now. I only leave the house for Dr apts. I even get my food and meds delivered to my house.

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You need a motivating factor to change your life and I am not sure what that will be for you.

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@yinyang You think your problem in dating women is from sz stigma or from sz apathy and other negative symptoms? Honestly I never tried to really date after sz, I will probably have the same problems as you if I do, stigma, etc

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That’s the reason why I created this question of a thread. To see what was the experience of other schizophrenic men. Hey, at least you are open to dating with women outside your race whereas I cannot.

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I’ve had one relationship post diagnosis, but I walked away from about three or four chances at a relationship because I wasn’t in the right headspace and it wouldn’t have been fair to them knowing I wasn’t fully “there.” I also had bad anxiety about not being able to perform due to hormonal imbalances. I’ve had severe erectile dysfunction my whole life, and it wasn’t until recently that I have fixed the issue so I am probably more open to relationships and intimacy.

I have had mixed reactions due to my illness. Only one person I was talking to was ever overtly offensive with their comments. They were based in ignorance of mental health, so I didn’t take it too personally. I’ve also had someone try to convince me of something that was triggering, so I stopped talking to her abruptly. I don’t include these two in the potential relationships I have turned down because they were simply toxic.

I have had mostly “fair” reactions with my illness. I respect it is a bit jarring to hear, as society has a bias towards illnesses on the psychotic spectrum, and I never open with it anymore. I usually wait until we’ve been talking for a month or have gone on two dates and they can build a judgement not only based on the stigma of my condition, but also with what they’ve seen of me. Telling someone right off the bat, without them having any type of impression of me is how I have gotten the weirder reactions.

My biggest tip is to build into slowly. I will mention more subtleties such as I experience the world differently. Then after a little while they have an understanding before I drop the SZA load on them.

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I was so numb and despondent from Haldol that it was impossible to enjoy her company. We were very different types of people. She liked Celine Dion. I liked Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show. Actually, it was generous for her to take me. I was delivering pizza. She was a school teacher. I didn’t relate to her. That was all.

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Hundred? Two?

I used to belong to a swingers club, I’ve no idea how many people I’ve slept with over the years.

Happily mostly monogamous.

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I had none. I been thinking about what do i do wrong and more importantly what do i think i do wrong. First thing is that i am self conscious, so when i talk with someone of the oposite sex i always wonder if i come across as a creep, that brings me to the second thing, always worring about how do i make her feel and if i am being to much to handle or to little, if i should have said that or not, if i laughed weirdly or not, bassicly what she thinks about me.

The problem is that i cant relax and all this is distracting and makes the conversation go terrible. Also this illlness makes me paranoid and careful to threats when there are no threats around.

But the biggest problem is being shy and afraid to say what i think because of fear of judgment.

I think we can rely on our intuition when it comes to relationships, even with sz. We can rely on it to say or not say things which feel right or not amd act in concordance.

Last chance i had at a girlfriend was 4 years ago. Shes in Dublin now.

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Ive dated a few women - post sz diagnosis, and i can honestly say i havent been judged by them. A couple actually had an MI themselves so it wasnt an issue.

Was was an issue was the fact, some liked the drugs too much, 2 with a crack and amphetamine problem.

Ive had the odd “bunk up” but mostly been single past couple of years

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not even a few one-night stands?
you don’t have to say anything about sz.
unless it’s a real relationship,
and you can trust her.

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Nothing since I quit drinking and using. The program taught me, “if nothing changes, nothing changes.” Had to learn to see women as people, not sex toys for my own gratification. The one night stands don’t compare to being married to someone who turns your crank.

:blush:

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I understand.
thanks.

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