For a minute I thought I was really losing it

I’ve had schizophrenia 40 years. That’s 40 years of weird thoughts and perceptions but even at my worst when I was psychotic for two years straight, a part of me was perfectly rational and sane. It used to freak out doctors, lol.

But this morning I was really thinking, am I mad? I was really doubting my sanity, I thought am I actually, really insane. Never had such deep self doubts. I was taking a shower before work as usual. I’ve never heard voices but I kept thinking I heard faint laughter from the neighbor lady. They do stuff like that. It’s so subtle and timed so perfectly but I couldn’t quite put my finger on whether I was imagining it or that maybe this woman is so sadistic and psychotic that she would do this to someone. I’ve been through a lot but now I’m having doubts. It’s not just today, I hear them laughing occasionally. Gotta go.

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Just keep a close eye on how your thoughts are and whether or not you’re feeling paranoid so you can report to your pdoc in case you need a med adjustment.

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I’ve had similar delusions, like someone walking on a floor of a vacant apartment above me in the middle of the night. Either it’s not real or it’s probably a coincidene what you are telling. I think a common thing with delusions is that we overestimate other peoples interest in our life. Most people are busy coping with their own life and troubles, besides most people are nice in my experience, they don’t care to hassle people for no reason.

A guy that lived next door to me believed that the neighbour above him had put the speakers of his stereo facing downward into the floor and played the music really loud just to annoy him, but I can assure you nobody does that…unless somehow coincidentely your worst enemy is your neighbour.

I like to play music so most likely he was hearing me :blush: I didn’t play loud though.

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