Hmmmmm story time.
So I used to drink a lot. All of my friends did. Not quality alcohol either, were talking bottom shelf vodka. We’d drink as much as we could stomach, typically killing a handle easily between what would be between 3 to 5 of us.
Not to brag, I don’t think that is something one can brag about, but would explain why I was living a life similar to that of someone who had chronic dysentery.
So it’s a friday… Friends have gathered. There is a house party someone heard of so we eventually set out. The place was a crowded mess. It might have been the sub 100 IQ club, and they had been hitting the booze. Oddly, this is Kansas, there were a few estranged acquaintances from earlier on in my life. People from different towns. People who I had forgotten about and didn’t care to reconnect with. Kind of powder keg of tension. Could tell they had mutual sentiments.
The night is rolling along. I’m trying to act casual and keep up. All the while I great exodus is trying to escape from my back end. Wanted to go, but there was a line and it would have taken some time. Wanted to leave, but I didn’t drive.
So it turns out the owner of the place is a real douche. My friends and I had had circled up in the kitchen with a few randos and were doing shots. I don’t recall shots of what, but uhh my girlfriend at the time couldn’t stomach it. She ended up throwing up. Party foul I know, but the reaction of the homeowner and the hive mentality of the sub-100s sent the night spiraling.
“Gross bitch” He yelled. Three more times he yelled it. It became a chant. My socially insecure girlfriend wound up having a whole house yelling “Gross bitch” at her for a good minute or two. Poor thing. Wasn’t much I could do. I took her into the hallway. Our friends took to cleaning up the mess.
She was still drunk and infuriated by the ordeal. I was trying to calm her down, which might have worked if I had a few more minutes. The hallway lead between the kitchen and the garage. The garage was also populated by some party folk.
Now maybe 5 to 15 minutes passed. That short term memory of a drunk crowd had lost it’s concern with the situation. The old girlfriend had not. She’d probably be thinking about it for days, just who she was. Anyways the homeowner starts walking through the hallway. I get a bit nervous, but don’t think to much of it. He’s just going to walk through and that’ll be that.
My gf was facing the other direction. Hah. As soon as he enters her field of view. I see her fist come out of nowhere slide past me and make solid contact with this dudes face. If that wasn’t enough to distract me from holding in my contents, what happened next sealed the deal.
This dude turns and looks at us. He hesitates and then swings right at my face. It didn’t cause any pain, but there it was. I ■■■■ my pants.
What a ■■■■■■■ mess that night was. Didn’t stop there though. The homeowners gf, who happened to be one of those old hometown acquaintances, immediately started a real fight with my gf. She fled outside. I followed. The fight was broken up quickly, but luckily for me, my crowd got kicked out.
I made sure to get a window seat and kept a cig going on the whole ride. No one ever knew.