Flare up today

DX'd - Other
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I have been getting absolutely minimal sleep lately due to my boyfriends house remodeling. Probably 1-3 hours a night. I also didnt take my meds the past couple days bc I was just too tired in the morning. Well that combined and I had a really bad flare up this morning.

Basically I tried to go back to sleep when I got home. I had one of the worst headaches of my life at the time. Then I felt a very familiar evil presence and that demon came and attacked me. It kept saying that I belonged to it and needed to submit to it. I was so scared. I kept yelling at it and refusing but eventually got so overwhelmed by its horrible energy that I just gave in. Basically my thoughts were that this entity had created some sort of contract with me where it took away any pain I was feeling (emotional or physical) and would replace it with pleasure in return for my total obedience and basically becoming its possession. I told it I had never intended to form this sort of contract…but it doesn’t really care.

I first met the entity lurking on the sidelines back when I was abused by that malicious spirit. Then when I moved and my mental health was really bad I was suffering so much under the pain and it stepped in and “comforted” me, and the contract was unknowingly formed on my part by allowing it to do so. I still claimed it wasn’t fair because I didn’t know I was creating a contract with it and I didn’t so much allow it as not understand what the heck was going on at the time but demons don’t much care for that. The whole naivety of the law doesn’t mean immunity thing I guess.

Anyways that was my experience today. I felt really shaken, ashamed and just bad after as I usually do. I apologized to God for being so weak and not being able to send it away.

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Lack of sleep can really cause problems with symptoms. Is there anywhere you can go to get a good night’s sleep?

One of the best things about most sz medications is the increased sleep time.

I know if I had 3 hours sleep for 3 nights in a row, I’d be paranoid as anything.

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Ok so technically I could stay at my house and not my boyfriend’s but my mom has been staying in my room lately bc she has a terrible cough from allergies and my dad cannot sleep in the same room as her bc of it. I feel bad making my sickly and exhausted mom sleep on the couch. So I have been coming to my house super early when my boyfriend goes to work, I study while I wait for her to wake up and then I go sleep in my bedroom. I thought that was working out ok (not ideal but ok) but clearly not. Mainly I was an idiot for skipping my meds and being lazy.

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Yeah, I can see that is a hard decision to make. I guess you need to keep in mind that it can some time to stabilize if you avoid your meds and sleep poorly. Do your parents have a fold-out couch or something you can sleep on temporarily? Anything has got to be better than 1-3 hours. How long will the renovations last? If they are going on for a week you really need to find an alternative.

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My mom sets out a blanket and pillow for me on the family room couch but I really cannot sleep there. Renovations are taking FOREVER unfortunately. They are getting their entire house remodeled. This is going on week 3 of renovations :confused: I have not slept well in a very long time. I am shocked I did not have a flare up sooner, but this was the first time I slacked on my meds during. I need to just force myself to take them even if I am exhausted in the morning. Or even take them at night for a while idk.

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