Fixate or avoid looking (staring) at people

I have two conflicting emotions. Specially when I see people with a very serious face I sometimes look away too avoid conflict because I start staring. Sometimes I force looking at them. I then get confused at to where to look at because when I try to face looking people in the eyes or face they reply back being confrontational and that pisses me off. I really can’t act casually. And that causes me irritation and stress. Anyone with something similar like this?

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I unnerve people by looking them in the eyes.

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That’s what I feel like I do when they are looked at but then avoid looking any longer fearing they say anything and then I fear I may not control myself and might act all crazy.

It’s really hard for me to look at people when in conversation, and I feel we both become uncomfortable if I make myself facially interact.

Now, random strangers, like while people watching(trying to figure out what makes them tick, what makes them comfortable as they seem in their own skin), I’ll stare, and if I’m noticed I’ll look away,but I do go right back to staring. Unless they look at me in a way that suggests I’m thought broadcasting, that scares me, because at any moment if someone were to ask me what I’m thinking I wouldn’t have an answer because there’s too much going on in my head at any given moment…

What’s thought broadcasting?

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That’s what I call it when I think others can hear my thoughts. Like I’m a radio just broadcasting the turmoil.

I have terrible eye contact. I am not good at it. Some times I’m not even aware that I have such poor eye contact

I don’t know what I’m afraid of… most likely conflict

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I glare at peooke when I speak with them. My shrink likes to point out that it’s congruent with the way I write. He read my research proposal and said it was like my glare- no fluff, very stiff and a little forceful. That’s when I am having a conversation. When I am not having a serious conversation I don’t glare. When people aggress towards me I glare right back. That hardly ever happens. I find it very disrespectful when people don’t look me in the eye when doing something serious. It’s disgusting. I once had a uh well there was this girl I was seeing, that’s how I will phrase it, she glared at me like no one else. We really hit it off. She was crazy.

I tend to freak people out with my glare.

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I only look people in the eye when I’m very serious about stuff and usually filled with rage. Otherwise I feel like they can read my mind, when they are looking into my eyes so I avoid them. One time the guy I was in love with, I didn’t even like him, until one day our eyes locked and it was awesome. But usually I avoid peoples eyes. They give me creeps :smile_cat: